The Hunger Games: Terrafied
by The Invisible Fighter
Summary: Terra is fifteen years old. She lives in the Seam and hunts illegally. Sound like anyone we know? She is at the reaping when Primrose Everdeen's name is called out, and to everyone's surprise, volunteers to take her place. An invisible girl saves a life.
1. Chapter 1

PART I : TRIBUTES

Chapter 1

The Hunger Games only lead to destruction. Destruction of the lives of all the tributes, of all the families, of the Districts and of course, of the Victor. Because who would be able to live a good, honest life if they were the murder or twenty three other people? Not me. Not _me_. But then again, I probably don't have that much of an honest life at the moment. I live in the Seam in District Twelve and could die for the amount of illegal acts I've committed. There has to be at least a hundred. The most important one is that I have killed animals in the woods outside of the District. It's quite easy actually. They never have the electric fence charged, even though I always check first, and then you just have to be good at making a snare and good at throwing. Throwing and shooting.

There are only two other people in the whole District that dare to venture into the woods, mostly everybody stays away for fear of being caught and killed, but me, I have to kill, or else I die. We all die. I don't think they even notice me in the Hob. After all, I'm just a fifteen year old that does almost nothing. I keep most of the meat I get for my family, but I get the pelts and sell them. Who knows what happens to them after they leave my possession, all I know is I get money for my pelts. And that keeps us alive. I have thirty tesserae's at the moment. That means for the next reaping I'll have my name in the bowl a total of thirty four times. I hope that I don't get chosen, cause then what will my family do? Starve?

I can't let that happen. But what will happen if I am chosen? My family has almost no friends and anyone with extra food is a Victor. And we only have one Victor from District Twelve. Old Haymitch Abernathy. And he's too drunk to even think about giving anybody his time of day, let alone money or food. I barely eat at all, just the small scraps that are left after my family eats. A family of four that lives off of squirrels, rabbits and the occasional bird of deer. There's only my mother, my father and my little niece that I love too much to let take a tesserae, ever. My older sister's dead because of the Hunger Games, so I don't think I'll ever be able to look at a Capital citizen without hatred.

Today is the reaping of the seventy-fourth Hunger Games. And the world might just fall down if I get reaped. Let's just pray I don't.

"Terra!"

"What?"

"Get your reaping clothes on! You have less than half an hour to get ready and I don't think you want to go wearing _that_." my mother spat at me. As if I didn't do enough for this household to deserve to go to the reapings in my hunting clothes.

"And what's wrong with this? These are the clothes that I wear that keep the food on the table and the money in your pockets!"

"You will look presentable today whether you want to or not. You can't stay in this place forever bringing in no substantial money. You will need to find a husband that can bring in a better income."

"This income is saying us from starvation! Why don't you go out into the woods and kill animals for hours and then come back to have me yell at _you_!"

"Terra?" Brianna asked from the door way. She was only ten years old and she wouldn't be able to have her name entered in the reaping bowls for two more years. Two more years that I hoped I could keep her alive long enough and make sure that she only has her name in there once. She would have her name entered only once ever if I had anytihng to do with it. There was no way I was letting my little Brianna participate in the Hunger Games. I'd volunteer myself if she was chosen. But she wouldn't be chosen for the next two years. I on the other ahnd could be chosen today.

"It's fine, Brianna. Don't worry. Just, um, just go get ready. I'll be ready in a second anyway." She nodded and I headed with her into our cramped room where our two small beds were crushed almost touching together in a small space.

"Put on your dress, you'll look pretty." I said, helping her into it. It was a little too small for her, but it hung off her frame like a rag on a stick. She was too skinny, but not too big. She was like a twig and I felt sorry to say that she'd never even tasted bread before. And not bread made from tesserae grain, no, I want her to be able to eat real bread that is soft and flaky and warm.

"You look prettier than me." Brianna said, smiling up at me.

I shook my head, smiling a little. "No, no. No one is as pretty as you look right now." I whispered, looking down at her.

"Don't lie!" she said, giggling.

"Sorry, but it's true." I said, smiling back at her. We were both standing in front of the mirror and looked as different as could be. Her soft brown hair and gray Seam eyes weren't anything like me. I had darkish red hair paired with smoke like gray eyes, that were totally off from Seam eyes. I was poor yet I didn't look like it, being different looking. Not necessarily a bad thing but not good either.

"Terra, what if you have to kill people?"  
>"What do you mean?"<p>

"What if you get reaped? Doesn't that mean you'll have to live and kill people?"

"Yes, why? Do you think I'll get reaped?"

She looked down and away from me. I frowned and took her chin in my hand and to my surprise she yanked her face away from me and wouldn't look at me.

"Brianna?" I said softly as she started to sob. Big, fat tears rolled won her shallow cheeks and she turned to look me in the eyes.

"I-If you leave, y-you'll be different. Y-You won't be y-you and if y-you do leave, y-you'll be a k-killer. But w-what if you d-d-die? I-I'll be a-all alone! And we'll starve b-because y-you're the only thing k-keeping us a-alive!" she said as she cried harder. "I-I don't want you to d-die! I-I don't want to d-die!"

I wrapped my arms around her and closed my eyes.

"Brianna, I won't leave you. I promise. I won't let you go. There isn't a thing that could keep me from leaving you. I promise. Just remember something, what if there was a little girl that was reaped that was like you? What would you do then? Would you let her die when you knew you had a better chance?"

She thought for a moment, hiccupping a little from the crying.

"No, I'd go in her place."  
>"Exactly."<p>

"But don't leave for someone else! District Twelve tributes always die anyway. They usually get to live a good life and then we never see them again."

"Brianna, I would go for you and only you. So don't think about it. I'm not going anywhere."  
>"Promise?"<p>

I smiled sadly. "Promise."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

The long steady stream of kids moving toward the square is like a sad way to try and get your hopes up. That you won't end up being the one chosen out of those big bowls and you won't be the one that gets thrust into the area and you won't be the one that dies. Because no one has been a winner from District twelve in almost twenty five years. I just prayed that it wouldn't be Brianna.

There were banners everywhere with the Capital symbol printed on them, always trying to make sure that they always seem like they are in control. I hoped that someday they would burn, or that someday they would be placed in these conditions so that they could feel our pain, suffering and sorrow. I hoped each and everyone of them died.

I held onto Brianna's hand in the square, looking up at the escort and reaper, Effie Trinket. You would think that someone had dumped a bucket of pain on her from the way she looked. She was pink in every aspect, staring disdainfully at all of us in our crummy clothes with our dirty faces covered in coal dust and our sad faces that apparently weren't in style at the moment. I wondered how she could be so happy when she knew that the two children she chose would be no doubt dead in a matter of weeks. So how could she look to happy?  
>I understood that she was from the Capital, but she got to actually see all the Districts while the rest of them were stuffing their faces, blissfully unaware…<p>

"Happy Hunger Games!" she said in her annoying shrill, Capital accent.

She introduced the mayor as if we didn't all know who he was and then we were forced to listen to a very grueling and boring speech about why we had to endure the Hunger Game and why the Capital was in charge and apparently why we were all so useless and below them. Then Effie walked back up and talked about what an _honor_ it was to be a tribute and then finished with her signature:

"May the odds be _ever_ in your favor!"

Just then Haymitch Abernathy stumbled over to the stage where Effie and the mayor had been anxiously awaiting him. The only Victor in the whole District and he was a drunk that was useless in all ways. He stumbled up the steps and hugged Effie roughly while she tried to untangle herself from him. She treated him as if he was some kind of vermin. Which to her he probably was the equivalent to in her mind.

"Ladies first!"

Her thin, pale hand reached into the large ball with the little folds of paper. Out of a thousand names, one girl would be chosen and out of another thousand there would be a boy. So who would it be? Who would die this year? Time slowed down to a crawl as her perfectly manicured fingers found a slip of paper and she unfolded it, smiling as she read the name of that condemned and dead person…

"Primrose Everdeen!"  
>I looked around, glad it wasn't Brianna, glad it wasn't me, until I saw her. Her face.<p>

Katniss Everdeen, the only other girl that was brave enough to go into the woods with her best friend Gale Hawthorne and still be alive today. She was beautiful with many admirers in school, which she always ignored. She wasn't stuck up like some of the other girls, worrying about guys and hair and their looks. Even though everybody was usually hungry, there would always be that kind of talk. Looks were important even in this starving desolate District. But this girl didn't care about that. She cared about the fact that her little sister was going to die.

I turned, everything slowing down. There was Primrose Everdeen, frozen in her shoes, not taking a step. She looked over at Katniss and was close to tears, but seemed to suck it up as she started to walk forward. If she didn't walk forward now they would just drag her up there anyway. It was better to just keep your dignity and pride, all that you would be left with.

I focused on Katniss again and she was already in action. She was running toward her sister, screaming something unintelligible. I looked down at Brianna, she looked like she would cry too.

"She's going to die, isn't she?" she whispered to me.

I looked at Katniss, then Primrose, then Brianna and didn't know what was wrong with me. It hurt. I could feel the pain, how Katniss was so desperate. She was going to volunteer, everybody knew it. She might even have a chance of winning, but there was also a chance she would simply just die. And then Primrose would be all alone, and her mother would be all alone, and Gale Hawthorne would be alone. They all had lives. They all had people to take care of. I looked down at Brianna again.

Kneeling quickly I looked into her eyes and used a very serious tone.

"Brianna, that girl is going to die."

She nodded. Confused by my actions. I only had seconds.

"I love you. I love you and Mom, and Dad. Okay? You understand? But if I do this, you aren't to take a single tesserae, okay? None. You will never take one, no matter what. And you'll go to, to Katniss okay? She's a great hunter and she'll give you food. Okay? And don't go to the Peacemaker either. Never okay?"  
>"Terra, don't-"<p>

"I have nothing. It's okay. I'll be alright, but so many people need her. Mom has a job though, she gets food. Dad has a job, he'll bring in money. You won't die. I promise."

"But Terra!"

"Don't. That girl will leave behind two starving people and friends and she'll be missed. Not me."

"I'll miss you Terra!" she said, crying and sobbing now.

I shook my head. I had just milliseconds left, Katniss was getting close. Our little bubble of frozen time was disappearing.

"Thank you. I think you'll be the only one that will. I love you, Brianna. See you during the good byes." I said, kissing her on each cheek and then the top of her head.

And then I was running. I was fast, a faster runner than most of the girls in my school and I'd made up my mind. The crowd parted for me, mostly because they were surprised. And then I made it into the long stretch of empty space that had cleared for Primrose Everdeen. I ran right in front of her easily because I'd been standing to the side of the stage. I ran right into her path and broke through the Peacemakers.

I looked one more time at Brianna, then at my mom and dad. My dad looked sad and my mom looked angry and almost like she was going to cry. Would they miss me? Or just miss me hunting for their food? Trading in the Hob? Never again.

"I volunteer!" I said, loud and clear, standing a few feet from Effie Trinket herself, looking her in the eyes. The wind suddenly blew back my hair which was loose and falling out of my previous clipped hairstyle was blown back from my face.

And then there was silence. As if the breeze had brought on the silence that had muted my entire District.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

The silent District was so calm for a few seconds. The wind ruffled the banners of the Capital, Effie Trinket stared down into the crowd, and Katniss Everdeen looked at me as if I was insane while Primrose stared dumbstruck at me. I turned in a half circle to face the crowd of people, most were gapping at me. I understood why. I didn't know them, I didn't know any of them. I was a ghost of a girl that they had never even looked at twice. I was passed and forgotten so many times I had lost count. They wouldn't miss me and they probably were trying to figure out who exactly I was, trying to place me. Obviously they couldn't because no one said a word. And I was the first to speak.

"I volunteer as tribute for District Twelve." I said, loud and clear and then turned back to Effie Trinket. "In place of Primrose Everdeen."

There I said it, I was taking her place. I didn't even have to and I was going to die. No one would miss me anyway.

Effie finally pulled herself together and smiled. "Well, isn't this exciting! That' the spirit of the Games! Come on up here…"

She came down half-way, meeting me at the stairs. I don't think she wanted to actually step on the ground. She carefully walked back to the microphone and smiled down at everyone.

"And what's your name?" she asked.

"Terra Ivory." I whispered, solemn.

"District Twelve's female tribute, Terra Ivory!" she said. Too cheerful.

"Now let's choose that lucky male tribute!" she said, walking over on her too high heels to the other bowl full of names.

She quickly plucked one out of the bowl and walked back to the microphone, smiling too much.

"Peeta Mellark!" she said, her face full of glee. The cameras were all centered on her now, after that dramatic turn of events. She knew that she was probably a star right now, fifteen seconds of glory. Of being the escort of a now suddenly interesting District.

I looked down into the crowd from my spot on the stage. The crowd started to move out of the way for someone and when I looked down I saw him, Peeta Mellark. I recognized him from school, he was the baker's son and he had older siblings, older brothers that weren't moving a muscle. They weren't going to volunteer and he knew it. The whole nation knew it. He was a dead man now.

He started to walk forward.

Effie met him at the stairs and glanced over him, smiling a smile that was almost as real as her hair. I could already see the wheels turning in her head, deciding that we were probably both going to die. Condemned.

"District Twelve's male tribute, Peeta Mellark!" she sang out.

There was no applause. Nothing, just the silence again. Then slowly, people started to move. They kissed their three middle fingers and raised them up to us, the silent salute of District Twelve. They were bidding us farewell and acknowledging the sacrifice I had made to take Primrose's place. I smiled sadly down at them and lucked up at one of the big screens set up in the square to see my face being projected throughout the country. And then slowly I saw Peeta turn to me and raise his hand to his lips to, kissing his three fingers and saluting me along with the rest of District Twelve. I even saw a few Peacemakers holding their hands up to me. I wasn't invisible anymore.

I kissed my fingers and raised my hand to my District.

We were ushered quickly into the Justice Building by some Capitals, all of them confused about what had just happened. They led us into an elevator, the only one I had ever been in, and we were both placed in two different rooms both plus and comfortable. But the smell of the room seemed to suffocate me and everything was too soft. I sat on the edge of a wine colored couch that was overstuffed, reminding me of Haymitch and his drunken state. He'd be the only thing connecting me with the outside world once I was in the Games. Maybe he'd stay somber enough to keep us alive a day or two.

My first visitors came in and I wasn't surprised at all.

Brianna came rushing in and threw her arms around me, soaking the back of my shirt.

"You promised you wouldn't leave!" she cried as her frail body shook with each sob.

"I know, I know. I'm sorry."  
>I looked over her shoulder at my mother who stood there, tears rolling down her cheeks, but she didn't move to hug me. She didn't move to even come near me.<p>

"What do you have to say?" I said, repositioning Brianna on my lap.

She sighed, not meeting my eyes and then sat down, hard, on the couch next to me.

"You don't know what you've done. We can't survive without you."

I snorted. "Please, you and Dad both have jobs. Where is Dad?" I asked suddenly noticing his absence.

"He wanted to come later. Terra," she said, twirling one brown lock of hair between her fingers. "I meant we won't have someone to keep all of us sane. You keep us together."  
>"Really? Because all I remember is that you always seemed to ignore me, along with everyone else. Dad's distant as always and you think he'll last long. Is that why you'll miss me? Because you and me would have kept all of us going while he wasted away."<br>"Don't talk like that! You could still come back." she said, now crying freely. "I don't want my baby to get slaughter."

She leaned her head against my shoulder and if felt so wrong. Wasn't she suppose to comfort me? Not the other way around? I wasn't crying yet, but I was sure I would be. Brianna was still sniffling on my lap and my mother was staining my shirt with her salty tears.

"Mom, I'll try. I promise. But don't expect me to come back alive. Make sure Brianna doesn't take a tesserae and make sure she doesn't get too desperate." She understood what I meant. We all knew about Head Peacekeeper Cray and his repulsive habits.

"I know, Terra. I'll make sure she'll be fine. I owe your poor sister that much."

"Mom, you know I'll try, right?"

"Wren, she was so strong. She tried too, Terra. And now her daughter is living with us. What am I suppose to say?"

"Say that you won't give up on me before I've even tried. I'll kill who I have to. I've never been very empathic anyway." I said, smiling sadly, feeling a silent tear crawl like a spider down my face.

"Don't try, the cameras will be watching you. Look strong, get sponsors and win for both you and your sister."

Brianna looked up at me. "Mommy wasn't as strong as you."  
>I almost choked up then. "No, no she was stronger. She was better and she should have one. You should have a mom right now."<p>

She raised her small hand up to my cheek. "I have you and Grandma Jackie."

I nodded, kissing her on the top of the head and holding her close. She was still crying and my mother was now racked with sobs. We sat there for a long time, or maybe it was a short time. It felt long to me. Eventually a man came in and told us their visit was over and they were led away, both still crying.

Then my father came in.

"Dad, why didn't you come with Mom and Brianna?" I asked.

His face was red and his peppered beard sparkled from the tears that had collected there. He wobbled a little as he walked and I could see he was still coughing a little. Still sick. He'd been sick for a long time, yet still insisted on working in the mines. Because he knew I was the only person really making a difference in keeping the family alive. Mom's income was sparse. Working in a store in town wasn't a good paying job.

"I wanted to talk to you alone." he said, sitting down slowly, his face twisted in pain.

"About what? Just survive, right?" I said, trying to joke around.

"No, I want to tell you I love you Terra. You're my daughter and I do not want to watch you die along with the rest of the nation. I've already watched one daughter die once, I don't need to see another die."

"I remember Wren joined the Careers, do you expect them to accept me?"

"No. I want you to be by yourself. Make an ally or two, but don't get too close to the Career types. They'll kill you when you've become useless. And you never know when they'll think you're useless."

I nodded.

"And don't worry about your mother and Brianna. I'll make sure they'll be okay."  
>I looked at him as if he was crazy. He'd been ill for months now, what was he suppose to do? He was on death's door.<p>

"What are you suppose to do?"

"Die. "

"What?" I exclaimed. "What is that suppose to do for them?"

"One less mouth to feed, and if I die the right way, they'll have to pay the family for my death."

"And how would you die and get money?"  
>"A mining accident? A malfunction that's all their fault."<p>

"They won't look at you twice. You'll be just another dead." I said, looking away. I think he was loosing his mind.

"I'll think of something, Terra."

"Don't die on them, Dad." I said, still not looking at him.

I could feel him smile. "My little girl, don't make Wren's mistakes. You're so brave and smart. You dared to go into the woods and made your own weapons to save this family that already falling apart. Something I couldn't do. Thank you, you gave me something to live for."

I finally turned and looked at him, I was crying again, all the tears falling free now.

"I'll try to come back, for you and Mom and Brianna. But if I don't, don't die. They'll fall apart faster."

He nodded and hugged me close. A man came in a few seconds later and told us he had to go then.

"Oh, second." he said to the man and then handed me something cold. "Don't loose it. It was Wren's token."

And then he was gone.

I lied back on the couch, not expecting anyone else to come in. I wasn't loved and I wasn't popular. I opened my hand and looked at the token and found myself suddenly filled with joy. A mockingjay pendent on a thin leather chord. It was simple yet elegant in every aspect. A small mockingjay bird with it's wings outstretched in flight, surrounded by a ring of vines with a thin arrow in it's beak. I looked closer at it and almost laughed. It was nightlock, surrounding the bird. The deadly berries that looked close to the edible ones. The leaves gave them away. I smiled at the token. It could recognize Wren's handy work anywhere, but I wondered where she got the metal to create this little masterpiece. She'd captured the mockingjay too perfectly.

I lied there for a while, closing my eyes to rest. No one else was left to come and say goodbye with me anyway.

So I jumped when the door opened.

I turned and looked to the last person I'd would have guessed to be standing there.

Katniss Everdeen stood there, looking down at me with her gray Seam eyes, determination in every part of her.

"Katniss, what are you doing here?"  
>She closed the door, her blue dress twirling around her a little. Then she silently walked over to the chair opposite the couch, frowning a little at the way it was so over stuffed.<p>

"I came to talk to you." she said. She had a pretty voice.

"About what?"

"About what you did. Why'd you do it?" she asks, almost angry at me.

"Because you would have volunteered. You don't deserve to die."

"How do you know? I might have died, but I'd have had a chance. You've just put yourself up for the Capital to fondle over and watch die."

I shook my head. "I have a chance. But I have no one that's really going to need me. My family might miss me, but they'll live. They have another little girl to take care of anyway. You have friends too."

"What friends?"

"Gale Hawthorne." I replied, looking her in the eye.

She looked away from my stare and stared at a dusty painting of the forest in the room, away from me.

"What do you know about him and me?"

"That he's your best friend. And that he hunts with you. And that you both love each other very much. I can tell from the way he looks at you and sometimes you'll show a little emotion. I'm not sure love is the right way to describe it."

"You don't know a thing about our relationship. How do you know we hunt in the woods."  
>I smirked. "I do too and I can hear to the two of you. Talking. He should be careful of what he says in the woods. They have eyes and ears everywhere."<p>

She looked at me again, eyes wide with fear for a few seconds.

"Why'd you do it?" she asked again.

"I already told you."  
>"The real reason. I know when someone's lying."<br>Now I looked away.

"I'm invisible. You didn't notice me in the Hob. In school I'm not smart and nobody is really my friend. I barely even know your names. My family could survive without me. But you have everything like that an more. I wanted to ease the suffering. Your sister didn't deserve to die and neither did you. No matter what you think about you 'having a chance', there was a _chance_ that you'd die."

"Thank you." she said, after a few minutes of thought. "I don't think I deserve it. And why my family. There have been worse people reaped and yet you never volunteered before. Why us?"

"Because Primrose reminds me of my niece Brianna who lost her mother to the Hunger Games. Primrose would have lost her sister. Why give them the satisfaction of that?" I said, spitting out the last word.

"And won't she loose a aunt?"

"She has her grandmother to take care of her."  
>"She'll still loose you. You shouldn't have volunteered."<br>"And let you die? Let your family die? Every year I see them die on screens along with the rest of you, and I'm sure the families of the rest of the dead tributes families feel the same way. ' What if someone had taken their place?' They all pray for that. Just be grateful!"

Now she was furious. "You think I need to you take care of us? We didn't ask for this! _You_ volunteered and now you're going to die!

I looked down at the token in my hand. "Just take care of Brianna if she comes to you. I told her she could." I said quietly.

Katniss seemed to calm down. We were both standing now, both looking miserable.

"Okay, I will. Don't worry about her."

"And don't let her forget me. She barely remembers her own mother."

"We won't forget you. It's hard to forget you."

"And I hope Primrose never gets reaped again."

"Prim. She likes being called Prim." she said, smiling a little.

"Okay, Prim. She and Brianna could be friends."

She nods. And then the door opens and they tell use we have two minutes left.

I sigh. "Take care of yourself, Katniss."

"You too, Terra. And 'may the odds be ever in your favor'"she says in the Capital accent. I almost smile. Almost.

We hug each other, both understanding that we were alike, both fighting for our families and both taking care of a precious little girl.

"We probably could have been friends." I say.

"Yeah, we probably could have." she agrees. We're already talking like I'm going to die.

The man's back and motions for her to get out.

"Bye Katniss. Good luck."  
>"Good luck to you too, Terra Ivory." And then she's gone.<p>

I hope she survives.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

I didn't get any more visitors, but I stayed in the room for a while, I guessed Peeta had more admirers than I did. I lied on that couch for a long time, fingering the pendant playing with it, swinging it back and forth. It had been my sister's downfall, killing her when she was only three people away from returning how. Just three more murders. Just three.

I still remember watching her on the screens in the square. Staring up at her face as she was about to finish off a tribute. I was only five and had been staring up at her, proud as could be of my sister. I was so sure she was going to make it back, so sure.

But then a tribute from District Two came up behind her as she was about to finish their fellow District Two tribute. The girl's eyes had shown with bloodlust and she'd screamed and then smiled as she seemed to grab my sister by the neck, but later the camera zeroed in on her face, and her throat. A thin cord was choking my sister, her face turning blue because of the lack of air. But she didn't die like that, the girl just slit her throat. And I watched while my sister turned blue and then red. I hadn't even known it had been her District token that had killed her.

I looked around the room and smiled to myself. I wrapped the string around my wrist and tied it into a bracelet. I wasn't going to let the same token kill two Ivory girls.

Finally a Peacekeeper came and got me and led to me a nice, plush car that would take us to the train station and then the Capital. I just sat fidgeting the whole time in the car. I looked over at Peeta a few times and saw that his face was stained with tears and his eyes were red. I imagined that I looked much like that. I just hoped the cameras wouldn't pick up on it. Maybe they'd just leave us alone. I prayed they'd leave us alone.

Someone wasn't answering prayers because as soon as we were dropped off at the train station we were bombarded by reports who all pulled at us and yelled at us, shoving cameras in our faces. I got really sick of it all of a sudden and just knocked one of them out of the way. That just seemed to get them even more interested in me, but they stayed a safe distance away.

"Why'd you do it, Terra?"

"Peeta, do you think you'll come back alive?"

"Peeta! Peeta! Look over here!"

"Terra, are you Wren Ivory's sister?"

"Do you think you'll make it to the last seven?"

"Look over here!"

"I just want to ask you a question!"

"Why did you volunteer?"  
>I started covering my ears and shaking my head, everything seeming too loud and too annoying and too much for my fragile self. I screamed something, I had no clue what, but I sounded like an animal. They were hoarding me, not letting me get to the train. Effie Trinket was trying to make her way through to me and a few Peacekeepers were coming at me. I saw Haymitch being bombarded like the rest of us, but he kept cussing at all the reporters and tried to get to Peeta and me at the centered of everything. I just cracked when I saw a reporter, a woman with bright blue hair, shove a microphone in Peeta's face.<p>

"Get _away_ from us!" I screeched and smack the microphone out of her greedy little hands.

Haymitch finally broke through to me just as Effie got to Peeta and they both towed us through the crowd while Peacekeepers kept off the cameras and reports with their deadly microphones. Effie and Haymitch sat down , Effie's wig slightly askew and Haymitch's clothes more than a little rumpled. They both sighed and looked at us like we were the cause of all their problems.

"Well, they'll defiantly remember _that_." Haymitch said, still a little drunk. "I'm going to bed. Wake me for dinner."

He stalked off and I stared out the window, more than a little annoyed at him for being drunk all the time. I looked over at Peeta to see him looking at me, more like scrutinizing me. I glared at him, angry and still a little jumpy and irritated.

"What?"

He just shook his head and sat down across from me, looking out the window at the scenery, probably thinking this was the last time he'd ever see it. I know it's likely mine, but I don't intend to just give up.

"That's what I thought." I said, turning away from him.

I ran my hand through my hair, aware that it was probably on fire right now, bright red in the sun. That was going to be hard to hide in the area, I'd be too easy to spot. I hoped there was a jacket with a hood or something I could hide my hair in. Otherwise I'd be dead in a matter of days.

Effie sat there for a few moments, looking tired and a little less like the lady that stood before District Twelve picking out dead people from glass bowls. She actually looked human for a few minutes, but then she became the Capital person again. Her eyes got a little glassy, too happy and smiley.

"I better show you to your rooms now." she said, perky as ever.

I followed her behind Peeta as we walked through the ridiculously large train and went to our separate compartments. The whole area was probably as big as my whole house was. I sighed and dropped down on the soft bed that was to the side, near the window that showed the miles we were crossing as the minutes ticked away. I looked at myself in the mirror and saw a girl that looked like she could kill a few people at the moment just because of how pissed off she was. I was becoming just like those psychotic killers in the areas. I splashed water on my face, as if that would wash away the girl in the mirror, the one staring back at me with cold eyes.

I slept for a few hours until I heard a knock on my door and Effie's cheery voice saying dinner was ready. That got me moving, because this would be a dinner that I didn't have to help with or kill something for.

I navigated my way to the dining cart and arrived to see that almost everybody was there, except Haymitch, who was probably still in bed. I took a seat at the seat farthest from the rest of them. Effie and Peeta were sitting across from each other and I was pretty sure that Haymitch would sit at the head, because it was closest to the door. A man placed a plate in front of me and then I just dug in.

There was amazing food laid out across the plate. Peeta was already eating, while Effie stared in disgust and took delicate little bites from her plates. Just to annoy her I grabbed a leg from the large bird in the center of the table and made a sickening crack by ripping it off the bird. She flinched and I smirked. Then I proceeded to fill my plate with a little of everything. There was a delicious rice mixture, a sweet mix of vegetables and fruit that I had never seen before in my life. There was a fish and greens dish that was a spicy sweet flavor and a few cuttings of meat inside of a little pastry that was drizzled with an orange and purple sauce. Everything was divine and I wished I had more room in my stomach.

Halfway through the meal we started to talk a little. Actually, Pietà and Effie talked, I sat and listened and ate.

"At least you two use the utensils, the last pair just used their hands. That was a horrid meal." she said, cutting a little bit of the fish off from her plate and carefully placing it in her mouth and chewing thoroughly.

"My mom had a thing for manners." Peeta said.

"Smart woman." she said. "I wonder where Haymitch is. He's usually not late for a meal."

"Is it bad dealing with him every year?" Peeta asked.

She laughed. "Please, he's absolutely horrid."

"Drunk I suppose."

"Oh, he's also sarcastic and extremely rude. He's mostly out of it anyway and I have to make him presentable. It's a horrid job." Horrid was likely her favorite word.

Just then Haymitch walked in and grumbled a little and then plopped down on the seat between Peeta and Effie, the head just like I suspected. He looked around at us and then focused on his plate, eating half before he started to speak. I wish he'd just kept eating.

"What's up with you?" he said, looking at me down the table. "Too good for the rest of us?"

I stared at him down the table.

"Too good to answer as well? I saw that show you put up for the reporters. You like the attention? Now they'll always want _you_. Pretty face too."

Peeta glanced up at me, almost like he was asking me if I was going to take this.

"Terra, why don't you come sit with us." Effie said, looking at me.

Obviously she was a little put off by my attitude.

"No thank you." I said politely.

"She thinks she's better than the rest of us. Look at the way she sits and looks at us." Haymitch said. I could practically hear the smirk in his voice.

Dessert came and it was just as good as the rest of the meal. It was a fluffy, rich cake made of a type of cream with blended fruit all over it swimming in a thick syrup. I helped myself to a large piece of it, savoring each bite. When we were all finished Effie said good night to the rest of us and left to get her beauty sleep, telling the rest that we should probably follow suit soon. We would have a "big, big day" ahead of us tomorrow.

"So, what do you suggest we do in the Games?" Peeta asked.

"Stay alive." Haymitch replied, still serious and still sipping wine from his half full glass. I watched him swirl the liquid around in the glass, liking the way the crimson color stained the edge before turning it clear again.

"Funny. I'm serious."  
>"So am I. Just stay alive."<p>

"You have to have better advice than that."

"No, that's all I can think of. I won by staying alive."

"Just quit the act, will you." I snapped at him. They both seemed surprised to

hear me speaking to them.

"And what act is that?"

"That you don't care if we live or die. I can see it every time you look at me. You keep staring at my wrist, at the bracelet. You think I don't notice that? All you're seeing right now is Wren."

He actually flinched a little at her name.

"Wren?" Peeta asked, oblivious.

I got up from the table then, not looking at either of them and as I opened the door I left them with a little food for thought.

"Just another girl he said 'stay alive' to that died." I said.

I was all the way down the cart before I heard him walking and I turned around in time to see Haymitch with his wine glass and Peeta behind him.

"What do you want?" I glared at both of them.

"You think it was my fault she died?" he said, looking a little drunk again. He was swaying a little on his feet.

"You were her mentor and look at her now. Dead." We were getting closer and closer with each word.

"Wren was weak."

"Don't say that!"

"She couldn't have made it out alive. She died a quick death, isn't that good enough for you?"

"She was in the last four, she could have left alive."

"Not a chance." he retorted. I balled my hands into fists.

"Hey, hey," Peeta said. He placed himself between Haymitch and me. "Don't do this now."

"She wants to. I can see it in her face. She's been wanting to do this for years." Haymitch said, turning away, in the direction of his cart. We both watched him leave, he was almost to the door to before I grabbed a knife off of a cart from dinner and threw it at the door, it landed a hair from his head. That got his attention.

"Well, well, looks like I got a fighter for once. You throw knives or just for me, sweet heart." he said, turning around to look at me.

Peeta looked stunned and went over to pry the knife out of the door while Haymitch walked back over to me.

"Do you have any other secret talents, boy?" he asked, watching as he yanked the knife out. "You seem strong."

"Just from carrying bags of flour. I can frost cakes too."

"That's not going to keep you alive. What about you?" he said, looking at me.

"I hunt." I say simply.

"Elaborate. What do you use to hunt?"

"I made a few bows and arrows, sometimes I throw a spear or knife at the game. And snares, I can make a pretty good one."

"I've got a girl who can hunt and a strong boy, this ought to be good."

"Not if you're always drunk." I said and Peeta nods in agreement.

"You can't always be half awake, Haymitch. You're suppose to try and keep us alive." he says.

Haymitch looks at the two of us and then sighs. "Fine, I'll make a deal with you. I'll stay somber to help you during the Games and your training and you'll leave me alone. But you two have to take my advice and not just ignore it."

"What advice do you have?" Peeta asks.

"We'll take it day by day. Tomorrow, don't resist your stylists. They know what they are doing."

We both nodded.

"Good. Good night." he said and then left.

We were left in the cart by ourselves. I turned to leave.

"Wait," Peeta said.

I turned halfway. "What?"

"If it comes to you killing me, or I'm dying a slow painful death, make it quick. Okay?"  
>I nodded. "Just do the same for me."<p>

And then I left, leaving him at least three carts behind by the time he started to move. I shut the door of my room and dropped onto the bed, thinking about what I might have to do in the next few weeks to come. But Peeta's words kept replaying themselves in my head, so I couldn't slep.

_"Make it quick."_


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

I barely slept that night, my dream were plagued with images of me and Peeta in the area, about to kill each other. We hadn't watched the replays of the reapings last night because of what had happened at dinner. I was glad, because they probably would have added to the mix of people that I already had in my dream. Prim screaming at me, Katniss yelling at me, Peeta screaming at me to end it quick and Haymitch laughing along with President Snow at me in the area. The area kept changing, from a cold tundra to a hot desert to a forest that had multiple deadly creature lurking in it. And each time I awoke from a nightmare, I'd fall back to sleep, sucked back into my own mind. And they just got worse. Peeta dying, Katniss dying, Prim dying, Brianna crying and then shot. Peeta slicing my back open, Peeta plunging a knife into me, Haymitch throwing knives at me. It went on and on, but the worst were of me. Me killing Peeta in multiple and horrible ways. I had pretty much gutted him, strangled him, ambushed him with arrows, drowned him and cut him in everyway possible by the time Effie finally came to get.

"Up, up, up! You have a big day today! Come watch the replays with us before breakfast." she sang throw the door, her heels clicking as she walked away. I groaned. I splashed my face a few times with water and then walked over to the small dresser, hoping there were some clothes in it.

I was lucky, there were a few plain clothes inside. I riffled through them until I found something around my size, a simple forest green long-sleeved shirt paired with dark brown jeans. I kept my shoes and walked out the room, slowly untangling my hair as I walked, listening for their voices. I had no clue where the room with a television was. It wasn't hard to find though because I could hear Effie and Peeta talking with Haymitch grumbling in the background.

"Oh look, the girl's finally awake. Didn't sleep well?" Haymitch said, giving me a cocky look.

"Bite me." I said, sitting down next to Peeta. It was either there or next to Haymitch seems Effie took the single chair.

"Still got spunk at least."

Effie sighed. "The replays are about to come on again."  
>I nodded and watched the screen as a man that was covered in thick black tattoos appeared on the screen and introduced the program. There wasn't much to see at the other Districts. I noticed the District Two tributes looked strong and like the Career types usually looked, deadly and brutal. District Four's male tribute looked a little harsh as well, but the girl was going to die for sure. She was a small, fragile thing that I felt sorry for. District Five's girl tribute had a smart look about her, like she was hiding a secret or something, I made a note to watch her carefully. The boy and girl from District Ten were huge and looked a little on the athletic side and less on the intelligent side, the girl was crying though and I wondered who she was crying for. District Eleven had a scary looking guy and a sweet looking girl that reminded me of Brianna. I looked away as they showed me volunteering, Katniss and Prim freezing as I walked up to the stage and the whole District turned silent. I watched the part where the whole District said goodbye to me, including Peeta who was on stage with me by then. Then the reporter was back, saying how emotional that was an how very touching.<p>

"Well, they won't forget you now. Time for breakfast, I'm starving. You two need to eat and be energized for the day you're going to have today." Effie announced, getting up and leading us back to the dining car. My mouth was watering the whole way there.

The table was laden with bowls of delicious creamy concoctions and all types of bread and the most amazing syrups and jams. I piled my plate high with all the types of bread and then carefully selected the best looking fruits. I also helped myself to some scrambled eggs and slices of a crispy, greasy meat and a few sausages. I noticed Peeta was exaiming all the different breads from the Districts. I almost burst out laughing when I was him sniff each piece and then take a slow, careful bite from each. I liked District One's bread the best personally, it was soft on the inside and flaky on the outside, melting in my mouth.

I sat away from the other's again, but they didn't comment today, so I was able to eat in peace. They talked as though I wasn't there and I couldn't care less. I wasn't here to make friends. I was trying to survive for as long as I could, which probably wasn't going to be long. I was ignoring them all until Effie said she was going to get ready for the day and for all of us to meet at the main cart at ten o'clock sharp. Once she was gone we all just sat and ate in silence. Peeta was dipping his bread in some kind of brown drink that was still steaming. I looked at my own cup and took a tentative sip of it, thinking it was coffee. Instead I found that it was a luscious, thick drink that was unlike anything I had ever tried. I downed the whole cup in a few seconds.

"It's called hot chocolate." Peeta said, looking up at me and then went back to dipping his bread into it.

I just nodded.

Haymitch left a few minutes later and I decided to stay, just because I dreaded going back to my room with nothing to do or to look forward to than arriving at the Capital. I sat there, nibbling on some fruit and eating the other breads.

"So why'd you even do it?" Peeta asked all of a sudden.

I looked up and glared at him. "You know why."  
>"Actually I don't. You didn't even know Katiniss or Prim."<p>

"Maybe I did, maybe I didn't. Either way, I'm here with you and neither of

them are."

"What's wrong with you?" he asked, as if I would actually reply seriously. "You're always so angry and distant, even when others are trying to be nice to you."

"I'm not angry or distant, I just prefer being alone."  
>"No you don't, no one does no matter what they think. You think Haymitch<p>

likes being alone all the time in his fancy house with no one there but him being drunk?"

I looked away. "I'm better alone. We're only District Twelve's tributes, we don't have to be friends so don't bother trying."

I looked at me for a long time and for a long time I ignored him. Then he

actually moved and sat down next to me instead of leaving. I looked in the other direction purposely, I wasn't going to be driven out of this room because of him and I wasn't going to start talking and being all mushy about my feelings.

"You know, you're a lot like Katniss." I was surprised, but I didn't say anything. "You have a soft spot for family and that's it."

My mouth twitched a little, but I shoved a piece of fruit in my mouth to keep me from doing anything stupid.

"I'm just a bakery boy and you're a girl that you thought no one noticed. Actually, a lot of people noticed you."

I closed my eyes and sighed. "If you're trying to make me feel better, than stop trying, it's not working."

"At least your talking now. Why don't you let anyone even near you?" he asked, being all charming. I looked over and then looked away. His eyes were a deep sky blue and were boring into mine. I actually flinched.

"Because if you let people near you, all that happens is they leave. And then you're hurt and you end up nursing a broken heart. I don't have time for that."

"It's good to know that you have one." he said, his voice was low and annoyingly enchanting, almost begging me to pour out my life story and confide in him. Just give up and let him have me.

"Quit the act." I snapped. I softened a little when I saw the look on his face.

"What act?"  
>"At least you have one good thing about you to use. The sponsors will be all<p>

over you during the interview."

He sighed and got up, glancing at the clock on the wall. "Effie will be waiting for us, we should just go there now or we'll get an earful later."

I got up and walked past him into the corridor and heading the what I thought was the main cart.

"And Terra," he said. I glanced back over my shoulder. "I don't like feeling vulnerable either."

"That's a whole other concept, Peeta."


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

When we reached the cart, everybody was already there. Effie gave us both a look and looked at the clock and frowned. We were actually on time, I guess she had been waiting for us to be late to yell at us. I smiled a sickly sweet and let Effie arrange me in the right position. She placed Haymitch first, odd, then Peeta and me side by side, and then finally her bringing up the rear. I guess she didn't want to loose us again. A Capital threw open the doors from the outside and light came blindly in. The magnificent city in front of us was nothing like the one we'd seen from a distance from the train cart. The pristine buildings we had seen from a distance were now grand and shining towers polished and colorful. They looked like pieces of candy, each a different color and each just as wonderful. But I only got a second to stare before Effie was pushing me out into the crowd.

We were bombarded. Peeta got grabbed at by the reporters, and the cameras kept clicking and clicking. I couldn't keep my eyes open for a few seconds before being blinded again by the flashes. They all yelled questions at me, but this time they seemed a little wary, as if scared I might pull another stunt. I almost did something stupid again, but I could feel Effie's nails digging into my shoulder, warning me. I started to walk with my head down to avoid the flashing, but she dug her nails in deeper. I sighed and lifted my head, looking up at the sky, a very nice blue and clear sky. Before I knew it we were shoved in a car and raced off to the Remake Center.

As soon as we get there, I remember what Haymitch said about not resisting the stylists, but I just wanted to run out of there. They were all too happy and giddy to "pretty" me. Venia, a woman with aqua colored hair and metallic gold tattoos immediately stripped me down so I was standing naked in front of them and I blushed as they inspected me. Flavius, has peachy orange corkscrew hair and a disgusting purple lipstick that makes his eyes look way too big. Octavia reminded me of vegetables because of the pea green tint on her skin, and she was much too thin to have been eating right, or maybe she'd had too many procedures to make her look natural.

They clucked their tongues and shook their heads, but they smiled when they saw my hair, odd enough. Apparently they had gotten tired of the brown shade most people from District Twelve had.

"Oh, your hair is such a lovely color!" cooed Octavia as she picked up a piece with her fingers.

"Yes, it's like a shade of gold and copper mixed together." Flavius said, twirling a piece between his stick fingers.

Venia was already pulling out a pair of scissors and a curling iron and I tensed a little.

"Don't worry, dearie, we'll just trim it a little and then curl it, fix it up. It's so brittle right now."

Probably because I don't get much to eat and it's not like my body will waste nutrients on my _hair_. I bet none of them had ever went to bed with an empty stomach, dreaming of eating squirrel or a small bird.

"We have to get you looking human now, or else Cinna won't even look at you. He says that we have to get you down to Beauty Base One before he starts."

"And what exactly will you have to do?" I asked suspiciously.

Apparently they had to scrub, pluck and wax every part of my body until there wasn't any hair anywhere that wasn't suppose to be there. While they were waxing my legs, I almost lashed out at them, almost. I just worked at digging my nails into my palms to remind myself to not use their scissors on them.

I tried to hold still while they plucked my eyebrows apart, but I ended up flinching and wincing away from them. They eventually put this headrest on the chair so that I couldn't move my head too much. I was pretty sure I'd chewed a chunk of my cheek off by the time they had finished on that part of me.

Every part of my body burned and felt raw and exposed. They put a soothing mixture all over me, making me feel a little better, but I was still feeling a little shy about being naked around them the whole time. Finally, they were just rubbing an oil into my hair to apparently strengthen it. And it wasn't even close to dinner yet. Even my lunch had been scarce by Capital standards because it was taking so long to get me down to what they thought was a respectable look. Apparently Peeta was already being prepped for the chariot ride because he'd been rather easy to handle. I'd seen his stylist briefly, a slightly plump little lady named Portia.

"There. All done!" Venia said finally after hours of letting them touch me and prod me and change me.

"Yes, now you look beautiful." Octavia gushed, pushing a full length mirror in front of me.

I looked at my naked body, now hairless, in the mirror. I was shocked by what I saw. There wasn't a girl there that was very hungry and desperate with a spiteful glare in her eyes. No, there was a young woman in the mirror with long wavy, shiny, coppery hair. Her skin was a perfect tan from all those hours in the sun in the forests and her silver eyes reminded me of rain on the pavement in the Seam.

But they were still cold and they were still fiery, looking harsher then they should.

"We'll go get Cinna, now!" Flavius announced and he and Octavia walked away while Venia surveyed her work some more before walking off to join them.

I sat there, on the cold table where they had worked on me and waited in my thin robe for my stylist Cinna to finally show. I wanted to get this over with. What was the point in making someone pretty if they were going to die? I guess the Capital liked pretty corpses.

I barely even noticed Cinna walk in, I was too busy fidgeting with the edge of my robe.

"You're actually quite beautiful." he said, softly.

My head snapped up and I looked him the straight in the eyes with my icy gaze.

"But your eyes are nothing like your costume. Take the robe off."

I glared at him, but stood up and took my robe off and stood in front of him. He didn't touch me, just stared and walked in a full circle. I could almost see the gears turning in his head, thinking of ways to make me better no doubt. Make me their standards of beautiful. But they were so sick and wrong here. They didn't want wrinkles, but in the Districts, it would be amazing to have wrinkles. It symbolized a long life. Here they wanted to be thin, but a plump person back home meant that they had enough to eat each day, more than enough in fact. They were considered lucky and envied. Everyday there were children dying, just dropping dead of starvation, but here, they didn't care. We were renewable. There wasn't anything that could actually make them feel sorry for us, but they would never really understand what true hunger was. Or how lucky they were to never have gone a single day in their lives feeling cold, hungry and dead.

"You hate us. I can see it in your eyes." Cinna said. He was just watching me now and I put my robe back on. He didn't comment.

"Why should I hate the people who killed my sister?" I snapped.

"Sister? Of course, you had a sister in the Games? And she didn't make it did she. I bet it was the stylist's fault." I didn't laugh and neither did he.

I studied him a little closer. He didn't look like the average Capital citizen. He looked more normal. He was stocky and not tall, but not short. He had close cropped brown hair that looked like its original color and there was little about him that suggested he'd had a life of comfort. The only thing that showed he was being influenced by Capital style was the gold eyeliner he wore that brought out the flecks of gold in his eyes.

"Don't hate us before you've even known us. Some of us are actually decent people, if you give us a chance."

I decided to change the subject. "So what will I be wearing tonight?"

"You? Well, we wanted to do something a little more classy. Those previous tributes were not even close to their full potential."

"Why bother?"  
>"Because you want sponsors. You want to make an impression."<p>

"Do I?" I asked, we were almost circle each other now.

"Yes. Sponsors keep you alive. They give you gifts. If you think you will make it in that area without one person giving you money I promise you that you will be dead faster than you can blink."

"So what will I be wearing?" I asked again.

He looked at me and cocked his head to the side and put one hand on his chin, as if he was actually thinking. I wondered if he was or if he was just dramatic.

"We wanted to capture the real essence of District Twelve."

I remembered one year when the tributes were naked and covered in coal dust, another when they were dressed in mining outfits. The worst was probably the coal dust. Then there was the year they decided that they should be covered in a black powder and barely covered in sheets of coal mining fabric. There have been more than a few years when the tributes were simply dressed in outfits made out of a black material with a mining helmet on.

"It should catch their attention." I was going to be naked, wasn't I?

"To really make an impression, something unforgettable." Naked with dust.

"How do you feel about fire?" he asked.

Now I tensed, was I going to be naked and on _fire_?

Cinna was now explaining to me the working of my costume. It was a simple one really. A plain, metallic like dress that was close fitted and fell in a long draping train at least four feet longer than needed. It flared out a little at the end, but mostly it was a plain design, nothing special. There was the cape that went with it, though.

With a push of a button, a synthetic fire was going to come off of my costume, but what I was worried about was that it would actually burn me. It was suppose to be painless, not even real fire, and defiantly not hot. But I was in the Capital and they were after all crazy. Maybe they would just kill me off quick now.

Cinna draped the dress down over me and I looked in the mirror, not really paying attention as he buckled the even longer cape into place. He led me out of our little styling area and suddenly all the tributes were there. The Careers were already hanging around each other, centering around a cruel looking boy that cut me a gaze that was deadly. If looks could kill. I returned the look.

"Don't get killed before the area, Terra. You'll have plenty of time for that later."

I rolled my eyes, but followed him to our chariot. It was a big black and gold thing that was looking more and more like a chariot that would come out of the ground with a demon on it. I glanced around and saw Peeta, staring at the other tributes too. I saw that he was dressed similar to me, except in a full body leotard, but with the same cape.

"What do you think about the fire?" I asked him.

"If I start burning, I'll rip your cape off if you rip mine off."

I studied him for a second. "Why not just burn?"

He sighed, I was back to being as cold and isolated as possible. I decided to study the other tributes. The one's from District 2 where decked out in rock like pieces, covered in the crystal facets. Glanced at the girl and saw she was just like her pattern, just as blood thirsty looking. The tributes from District One were covered in glitter and velvet, looking as luxurious as the rest of their District. The girl had long, cascading waves of gold for hair and I suddenly felt conscious of how I looked like a cow. The make up Cinna had applied was minimal and just dark shadows along my face. District Three was all metallic, in the green and shiny phases of technology. District Four was pretty bland, judging from their costumes they had a pretty poor stylist that wasn't very imaginative. They were dressed to look like ocean waves, not exactly original. I didn't really understand District Five or Six, just new they had something to do with power and transportation. The District Seven's were fairly close to their mark, they were dressed in stylish plaid and jean material, the girl's skirt a little too high. Districts Eight and Nine were both dressed generically, a layered outfit of different fabrics and two bushsels of grains. District Ten was covered in dead animal skins, I flinched when I saw the largeness of the boy, if you could call him that. I was particularly fascinated with District Eleven. Both were dressed as trees, but the little girl reminded me of Brianna. She couldn't have been more than twelve and her big doe eyes were so innocent. I sighed and looked away.

"She's young isn't she?" Peeta remarked, looking at the little girl too.

I nodded. "I hope I don't have to kill her."  
>He looked at me in surprise. "Would you?"<p>

"What?"  
>"Kill her?"<p>

I glanced back over at the little girl. Would I kill her? She was just a little girl, she probably wouldn't even last that long in the area. Maybe she'd be dead by the end of the first day, killed at the Cornucopia.

"I'm not sure." I answered.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Cinna and Portia came over and arranged us to perfection. We were oddly close together and I tried not to look at Peeta, not liking the way we were practically cuddling next to each other. While Portia touched up on Peeta's make up, Cinna was fussing with my dress, making sure the train was set just right, draping over the edge of the chariot.

"Ready?" Peeta asked. Now Portia was just fixing his cape.

"We're going to be set on fire. Why shouldn't I be ready?"

He laughed. I smiled softly, but didn't go as far as laugh. Why laugh in the face of your killers?

I looked over at Cinna who seemed to be happy with the way we both looked and had a small lighter in his hand. This was his first year as a stylist and he was setting us on fire? That was a big risk on his part. With on click he lit the corner of my cape on fire and then the train of my dress. My eyes widened as it crawled up the edge of my clothes and then it was touching my skin, but oddly did not burn. I looked over at Peeta and saw he seemed fine as well.

I touched the fire tentatively, but felt not burn.

"Interesting." Peeta muttered.

"I guess they know what they're doing after all."  
>The first chariots were starting to move forward, going down the main street to the stadium, the streets were crowded with people, yelling at us and taking pictures.<p>

"What's he saying?" Peeta yelled over the sound of the anthem playing.

I looked to see that Cinna was making a motion that I couldn't quite tell what it meant.

"I think he's saying to hold hands." I said.

Peeta reached out for my hand and after a moment of hesitation I took it. It felt weird, holding his hand, but I didn't pull back. Cinna gave us a thumbs up and nodded, pointing at our mouths Smile. Great.

I worked up a smile that probably didn't look too hideous or cold and looked forward as the chariot started to move, drawn by two coal black mares. I almost passed out deaf from the sound that erupted once we got out of the enclosure.

Everybody was screaming at us, yelling and cheering. When they saw that we were on fire there was a collective gasp and then even louder cheers. There were huge screens all over the place and I glanced up at one, seeing my face enlarged to godly proportions. Girls were screaming at Peeta, yelling and chanting his name. He raised his free hand and waved slowly and that caused even more of them to start screaming. Some even fainted.

I looked to the left and saw that other people were screaming my name too.

"Terra! Terra!" I smiled and waved too and then the crowd was all over it. They cheered and waved back, yelling complements at me.

"You're beautiful! Gorgeous! I love your dress!"

I smiled a little more convincingly and blew kisses into the crowd. People actually dived for them, causing a huge ruckus for my kisses. I looked at Peeta and saw he was staring at me too. Up on the screen I saw us again, but this time I looked at it from the perspective of everybody else. I had long flowing red hair that was almost the same color as the rest of the fire that flickered around me. The shadows that Cinna had brushed over me were exaggerated by the flames, casting an eerie glow on my face. I noticed our hands were still held together and realized why Cinna had told us to hold hands. None of the other tributes even looked like a team. They all were looking away from each other and seemed to hate each other. Now we looked like a team, united together against the rest of the Capital. I didn't really understand what this accomplished, but it certainly got everybody else's attention.

Finally we turned the last bend, going into the Training Center. As we stopped I saw that most of the tributes were glaring at us as if we'd taken something of theirs. Then again, we kind of had. We had taken the spotlight during the parade. I didn't really feel bad about that to be honest. I even waved at a few with a smirk on my face as I passed. One girl even growled at me.

"That was marvelous! Absolutely marvelous! I have been talking to a lot of possible sponsors, but it's really up to Haymitch as to who will be your sponsors. Let's just hope that he'll be conscious when making decisions." Effie said, coming up to us.

We both just nodded. Cinna came over with Portia who sprayed us both with a cool mist that caused the flames to die down.

"I think everybody hates us now." Peeta said, looking around at all the glares.

I laughed dryly. "I think we all hate each other."

Cinna smiled. "You did well, Terra. I didn't know you could smile or blow kisses. I was prepared to have you seem like a demon queen."  
>I smiled and blew a kiss at him and he laughed too.<p>

Peeta was staring at me again, but he didn't say anything.

"Effie, let's get these two to their rooms." Haymitch said, appearing suddenly.

"Of course. Just take that elevator right there. We'll be up in a moment. I want to introduce Haymitch to a few important people."

"Why? I've met them all already in the past two decades." he grumbled.

"Let's just freshen your memory." Effie replied, dragging him after her.

I followed Peeta slowly to the elevator. It was a crystal one, unlike the one we rode in the Justice Building back in District Twelve. This one didn't creak or squeak. And this one was filled with people shooting us glares and stares. I didn't like the way one of the guys were looking at me, as if he was trying to figure out how to pull me apart and cut me into pieces. The boy from District Two was just glaring at everybody. I heard his District partner call him "Cato."

"Shut up, Clove." he snapped.

I looked away and oddly enough, Peeta stepped in front of me so that I was crushed into a little corner, blocked from view. I was slightly annoyed, yet happy that he managed to cover to from their view yet I was able to study them. They all looked somewhat useful in a fight, but they also had small weaknesses. Cato looked cocky and so did Clove, they would probably die from being to arrogant. The boy from District Seven looked like he could lift a few hundred pounds, but I wondered if his mind was just as great. I saw that the girl from District Five had a sneaky, and suspicious air about her. I'd have to keep an eye on her later.

Because the building was arranged by the District numbers, me and Peeta were the last ones to get off, leaving us alone for a few seconds while we traveled from level eleven to twelve.

"What do you think of them?"

"Watch the girl from Five." I replied.

He nodded. "And District Two. They both look like they've trained for ages to

do this."

"Probably have."

Even though it was against the rules to train for the Games before you actually start to train officially, many of the Districts did train their tributes. It was a common thing to do. They made up the Careers, nicknamed this because this was their Career in a sense. To kill the other tributes and bring home the gifts and glory. I wondered what they taught them. To kill people or each other or just win at all costs. Probably the last, because what was a little murder for all that fame and fortune? Nothing to them probably, just a little piece of your soul.

We arrived on our floor, which was a large area with rooms for all of us. Effie and Haymitch's rooms were down the left hallway labeled "Mentors/Escort" and our rooms were to the right, "Tributes", with the dining room and living room in the center hallway, right in front of the elevator. It smelled too clean in here, but I didn't really care too much. I turned to the right and heard Peeta follow me. I was having a small meltdown, so I ran to get away from him.

It was coming crashing down on me. The past few days I had been acting like an ice queen, freezing out emotion. But right now, I just realized what would happen. I would be in an area with unknown conditions, maybe freezing to death? Dying of thirst? Sliced to pieces? And Brianna would be watching. No, the whole country would be watching. But if I didn't die I would kill people. I would have to kill to make it back home. I didn't deserve to go home, did I? I was just a ghost of a girl that was horrible to everyone, screaming at everyone.

I felt a lump in my throat and I ran down the hallway, feeling the cape fly back from my shoulder. I felt each step, each press into the plush carpet, closer to a place where I could just be alone.

I finally saw a door, I didn't care at first, be I realized it was Peeta's, it had his name on it. I screamed in frustration and whirled around to see a door with my name painted on it. With a sigh of relief I pushed open the door and slammed it shut on everything and everyone, locking just to make sure I wasn't disturbed. Then I just collapsed sobbing. Outside I heard Peeta calling me through the door.

"Go away! Just go _away_!" I screeched. I heard him start to pound on the door. I got up from the ground and slowly backed away from the door.

I started to rip off my clothes, feeling like I was suffocating. I dashed in the humongous bathroom, angry at everything. I stripped off the rest of my clothes and then rushed into the shower to be bombarded by an array of buttons. I punched a few randomly and got burned and then frozen by jets of water and pounded on by multiple streams of water. Finally, I figured out a few of the buttons and was able to take a shower. The water was nice and warm, soothing. Multiple soaps had been squirted on me so I smelled a little floral and fruity at the same time. There was a shampoo that was scrubbed through my hair and then untangled it instantly. I cried freely in the shower, not really caring. I was all alone in the shower now anyway. I don't know how long I saw there, letting it rain down on me. Eventually I stumbled out, feeling wrinkled and waterlogged. My eyes burned like crazy and felt as dry as a desert. As soon as I stepped out a gust blew through me and in seconds I was dry, my hair included. I didn't take long to think about it. Instead, I just walked over to the closet and fiddled with the controls until I found something comfortable. It was a simple dress, plain green-blue with long sleeves that dangled down from my arms. The V-neck wasn't too low and it reached my ankles, covering me.

The fabric was so soft and the solid design was nice to see after I'd seen all the ridiculous fashions here in the Capital. With a little sigh I got up from the bathroom floor and stumbled into the bedroom. I heard a knock from outside and blinked, wondering if it was Peeta. I guess he heard the water stop running.

"Terra? Are you okay?" he asked, his voice muffled by the door.

I almost started crying again, but decided it would be embarrassing to let him hear me sob alone in a room.

I summed up my energy and replied in a clear voice. "I'm fine. Leave me alone."

"I heard you crying." Dang it. Maybe the water hadn't been loud enough.

"Just let me come in." I tensed. I didn't really trust him. And I didn't feel like letting him into my room.

"No. Just go away." I said, lying down on the bed. I didn't even notice the small remote on the bed. I heard the click too late.

Peeta opened the door slowly and I moaned. "I said go away!"  
>I threw a downy pillow at him. He just ducked and instead of leaving like I said, edged closer.<p>

"Are you okay?"

I shot up from the bed. "You think I could be okay? I'm on a bed with you in the room, crying my eyes out and screaming at you. What makes you think I might be okay?"

He looked at me for a long time, and I couldn't take his stare after a while. I flopped back down on the bed, turned away from him.

"Just leave me alone." I muttered.

"Do you actually _want_ to be alone?" he asked. "Or do you just think you should be alone."

I turned onto my back and looked at the ceiling and then at him. I pointed at the door.

"Fine." he said, getting up and leaving me alone. He closed the door and I picked up the remote again, hitting "Lock."

I decided it was time to say good bye to everyone, for real. If I was going to die, I was going to die knowing I had thought of each and everyone of them with no regrets.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

I thought I would skip dinner, but instead, and hour later I found myself being dragged by Effie into the dining room. I was extremely annoyed at her and kept trying to bat her off, evening knocking her wig to the side a little before she just dropped me in the chair next to Peeta. I rolled my eyes and turned away, I didn't have enough energy to move away from all of them to the other side of the table, anyway, the table was full of everybody else that was now apparently on our "team."

No one commented on my state, but I was sure they were all itching to, especially the prep team. They couldn't just sit there and look at my mused hair and not want to say it looked a mess. Or tell me I was psychotic looking because of my now red and bloodshot eyes. And to add to everything, my eyes were probably just as cold and full of hatred as usual to them. Or maybe I just looked pathetic. I guessed that was a way to put it, because I was crying at a time when I should just be strong and forget about everything else. At least there was nothing else left to do. I'd said good bye already. Now it was just me.

"You two were absolutely wonderful tonight." Effie said, frowning as Haymitch took a very un-gentleman like swig from his glass of wine.

"Yes, Cinna and Portia did an amazing job." Peeta said, nodding at the two, Portia was actually blushing.

"Oh, it was all Cinna's idea. He had us spend a lot of time in the lab trying to make that fire actually look realistic." Portia said, humbly.

"Don't sell yourself short, Portia. It was your idea to use Chem. 144 in the first place." Cinna said as if we all knew what that was. Maybe they did.

Venia laughed. "I would never have guessed it was a fake fire, be then they were burning or charred."

Everybody laughed, except me. I wrapped my arms around myself, the soft color giving me a little comfort.

"That color actually looks very nice on you." Cinna said. He was sitting across from me with Portia at his left.

I nodded looked away, really not interested in talking at the moment. Either he didn't pick up on that, or he decided to ignore his intuition.

"Have you ever seen the ocean? It looks just like that color."

"Of course not. I live in District Twelve, not Four. Do you think I had time to go on a vacation to some wonderful place while I was practically starving to death?" I shot back.

Everybody looked away and pretended to be very interested in their food all of a sudden.

"I'm sorry if I offended you." he said softly.

I softened a little. I wasn't really mad at him. Actually, I liked Cinna the best out of our little crowd. He seemed mostly unaffected by the Capital unlike the rest of them. Peeta was trying to act like them, Haymitch was drunk because of them, Effie was one of them, and the prep teams were just as brainwashed as anyone could be.

"I know."

I looked down at my plate and saw a plate of buttery noodles in a green sauce that was delicious, plus a lot of vegetables that I had never seen before in my life. I tried a few of them and found I liked most of them, but a few were a little too bitter for me. Or maybe I was too bitter for them. I decided to ignore that thought.

The next course was a small bird for each of us and everybody cut into it delicately, but I got too frustrated with trying to cut around the bones to care and just ripped it apart. A few of them shot me a look, but I ignored them.

Suddenly, Peeta, who had been cutting it just like they had, put down his knife and did the same. There was a crack as the bone broke between his hands and I laughed. A few of them stared, but Peeta smiled and took another bite.

I continued to eat, still wondering why Peeta had done that. Why make life easier on a person that would likely kill you later? Or you might kill them?

The next few courses were just as good, but all too small, and left me wanting more. When dessert came everybody cheered at the sight of the cake that was lit flame. They said that Peeta and I should cut it together. I started to refuse, but Peeta had grabbed the knife and had taken my hand before I could say anything. We made a clean cut together and everybody smiled at us in an odd way.

I looked down, and lifted my head only to finish the large slab of rich chocolate cake they put down in front of me. They all walked to the living room to watch the ceremony again, but I felt a little cold, a little sick from the rich food and I wasn't exactly eager to see us put in front of the crowd like meat on sale. That was essentially what they were asking the sponsors. Which one would you like? Because if they live, you get to keep them. Just give us more money and you get whatever you want from them. I shivered at the thought.

As I was passing the door, though I couldn't help but stop and watch for a few minutes. There were only the Districts One to Eleven, but as soon as we came out, there was nothing on the screen that wasn't our faces for more than a few seconds. They had centered the show around us smashing the clips together to make a long collage of just Peeta and I. Peeta waving, me blowing kisses, Peeta holding my hand, me looking at Peeta, Peeta smiling, me smiling. I looked away and walked down the hallway. I didn't hear the footsteps, or maybe I would have had time to run.

"Terra, wait!" Peeta called out. I could hear the others talking in the other room and I decided I was too tired to get away from him at this point.

I ran a hand through my hair, but stopped and waited for him to appear next to me.

"You watched the end?"  
>"Yes."<br>"You looked pretty good tonight. You were beautiful."  
>I stiffened. No one had ever told me that. Maybe my father a few times when I went out to hunt for them and he said I looked very brave and beautiful.<p>

"Thank you." I said, my voice even and almost dead. "You looked nice too."

"No, I think you were the whole show. They pretty much gave you the whole run time. I'm sure you have a whole line of sponsors now."

I laughed. "You and your good looks and your charms are going to win over the 'beautiful' girl that has an icy exterior."  
>"You didn't look cold tonight."<br>"Because I was on fire."

"Because you were living a little. In extreme situations, I think you actually let a little bit of the real you sprout out and then you cut it off like a weed and hide it." he said, looking deeper into my face.

"Don't think you know everything." I said, looking the other direction.

I kept walking forward, but I didn't notice that we had passed our rooms until we reached the end of the hallways with the big metal door at the end. It was labeled roof.

"We should go up. Cinna showed it to me before and I bet the city is even more beautiful right now once all the lights are on."

"I don't know. We might not be allowed." I backed away from the door a little, but he grabbed more arm and pushed the door open before I could walk away.

The smell of fresh air enticed me forward and I climbed the stairs in a daze, smiling a little. Once we reached the top I actually smiled all the way. Spread out in front of us was the Capital, glittering in its lights. I wondered how a beautiful city like this could be the home to so many despicable people. I guess it was like a rose. They were beautiful, but unless you were careful, they cut you. I didn't want to be one of the careless ones who got cut.

"It's stunning." I remarked, leaning over the railing.

"Watch this." he said. It picked up a small pebble that was on the roof and threw it over the edge. There was a shocking sound and then the pebble flew back.

"I guess they're worried we might just decided to end it now and jump."

"Would you?" I asked.

"What?"

"Would you jump?"

He smiled. "I'm not sure."

The exact words I'd said when he'd asked me if I would kill that little girl.

"I'm tired." I said, but I didn't make a move to leave.

"Me too. But I more tired of this place."

"We've only been here for a few hours." I saw he was looking into the distance at a very large mansion at the center of the whole city.

"I meant of this place using us. We're just little pieces they like to us. They don't really care that they make all of us either killers or dead."

"I think most of them just want to be full, entertained and happy. But when you have everything, you get greedy, don't you?"

He nodded. "If I die, I want to die as me. Not as one of their pieces. Does that make sense?"  
>I shook my head. "No. You'll always be you."<br>"No, I don't think so. Once you kill someone, you're not the same person. You're a killer. So if I'm alive, then that means I did what they wanted. But if I'm dead, then doesn't that mean I did what they wanted too?"

I glanced at all the flowers and plants around us, noticing the beauty of this garden for the first time. I wondered who started this place. In the Capital they did like pretty things, but this was unusual. There were no genetically altered flowers that smelled stronger or were brighter. They all look fairly natural.

"I don't think so. If you kill yourself, they wouldn't expect it. In the area at least. Here I guess they did." I said, motioning to the electric field in front of us.

I watched a small celebration down below us. "I guess that's for the tributes."

Peeta nodded. "A party."

"Death party." I mutter. I can feel his gaze on me.

"You know what? I think they could be watching us all the time. What if they're watching us right now." The thought made my skin crawl, but he was probably right.

I backed away from the edge and looked around at the garden, so many places for a camera to be hidden.

"You know what? It doesn't matter." I said, smiling.

"What do you mean?"

I spun in a full circle as if I was looking for something at each turn.

"They Capital! I don't _care_ what you do to us! We're _not_ going to be pons, or pieces or puppets in your _stupid_ Games."  
>"Terra?" Peeta said, in mock horror. "Such language."<p>

I laughed. "Who cares? We'll be dead or monsters in a few weeks. It doesn't matter."

He was thoughtful for a few minutes.

"Isn't this what you wanted?" I asked. "To not be controlled by them?"  
>He smiled. "Yeah, and guess what? You're not in control! We make our own decisions!"<p>

We both laughed.

"You don't control us!" we both screamed in harmony at an invisible person.

I leaned back against the rail and sighed, taking in the sight of the garden.

"We were looking in the wrong direction, weren't we?" Peeta said softly.

I nodded.

"Sorry you don't have a mirror."

"Why?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Because you can't see yourself right now. You're more stunning than the city or the garden."

I frowned. He was sucking me in again. How could I have let him do this? What was wrong with me? He was using me again. Trying to get to me. Just like the Capital, just like everybody else. There was a little tug at my heart that seemed to whisper "Just give in", but I crushed that. I turned away from Peeta and when I looked back I could tell I was my cold, closed off self again. I saw Peeta adjust to it too, his stance was a little more protective and his head was held a little higher.

"I told you to quit the act a long time ago." I said.

"What act are you talking about?"

"The one where we're actually friends." I replied, I could almost feel the cold chill from my words.

"And we're not?" he asked, a little stunned.

"No. We're not. We're just tributes together, not _friends_." I spat the last word out.

"You're doing it again. You're killing that little part of you." He reached for my hand and unlike what most girls would have done in his presence, I yanked my hand away from him and hurled a huge rock over the edge to have it come flying back and break a flower pot. We both stared at it for a second, but I walked away before he recovered.

"Just leave me alone. If it's between you and me in the end, don't think I won't kill you, okay? But I'll remember to make it quick."

I swung the door open and stormed away, leaving Peeta alone in the now chilly wind on the roof.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

I didn't sleep well last night, terrified by the nightmares that may or may not come true in the next few days. I dragged myself out of the sheets that were suffocating to me suddenly. I could feel the sweat sticking my body to the sheets and I regretted wearing the long dress to bed. I took a quick shower in icy water, trying to clear my head. I was really cruel to Peeta last night, but I didn't really care. There wasn't really anything about him that was that bad. Just the fact that he was persistently trying to be nice and friendly with me was getting on my nerves. I'd never spoken a word to him in all my years alive before and now he acted like we were best friends.

I walked out of the shower to find a training outfit laid out for me. I put it one quickly, barely even noticing it. As I walked out I saw a girl with hair almost as red and bright as mine picking up my dirty clothes from the floor and straightening my bed.

"You don't have to do that. I'll just mess it up again later." I said, walking over to her.

She just shook her head and continued to work.

"Really, you don't. And I can take my clothes to the laundry room by myself."  
>She didn't look at me. Just shook her head.<p>

"Are you not allowed to talk or something, because it's not like I'll report you or anything." I said, trying to be friendly. Odd, I've always been closed off.

She sighed and that small little second when she opened her mouth a little too wide I saw it. There was no tongue in her mouth. It had been cut out, leaving only a small little sliver of it left with big ugly scares across it. I took a step back and she looked at me, eyes wide. She covered her mouth with her hand and turned away.

"Did they do that to you?" I asked.

She nodded, shaking a little with sobs. I glanced away.

"It's sick. They cut peoples tongues out and make children fight to the death. What's next? If President Snow ever dies, I ope he dies slow and painfully." I said.

She whirled around, eyes wide in shock. Apparently people didn't just say that around here.  
>"Don't worry. They won't kill me or anything. I'll probably be dead soon."<p>

I entertained the thought that maybe they'd hurt her because she'd heard it, but I decided otherwise. It's not like she could tell anyone about me saying that.

"I have to get to breakfast. See you later." I said, walking away. She actually waved at me, to my surprise.

"Good morning everyone!" Effie sang as we walked in. Her too pink wig was now matched with a too bright pink collared dress with an obnoxious acid yellow scarf.

A few people nodded and the prep teams said 'good morning' to her politely and asked how she'd slept.

"Oh wonderfully." she said, going to the breakfast buffet and selecting a lot of different fruity pastries and some creamy cold soup.

I followed behind her and surveyed the table. I piled my plate with one of each of the pastries, a cold scoop of a rainbow colored ice concoction, some seasoned scrambled eggs and a few slices of greasy, salty pork. I sat down farther away from Peeta today, choosing to sit next to Cinna, forcing Portia to sit next to Peeta instead. Nobody commented on the change.

Amazingly, Haymitch was already drinking. He had a bottle next to him full of a clear liquid that he was taking swigs from. I sighed.

"Haymitch, our deal." I hissed.

He glared out me and took one more long gulp, but capped the bottle.

"So, first day of training. And you're both matching. How cute." he said.

I looked over at Peeta and bristled. We were matching. He was wearing a plain black and gray shirt with a red seam and so was I. We were both wearing black pants and I looked over at Cinna who was apparently trying to act innocent.

"Did you really have to make us match?" I asked.

He glanced up. "Sorry, didn't know that would be a problem."  
>I sighed. No time to change now. I started shoving more food into my mouth, earning a disapproving look from Effie. I picked up a greasy piece of bacon and bit half of it off savagely. She actually cringed.<p>

"Do you two want to be coached together and apart?" Haymitch asked.

We glanced at each other.

At the same time I said "Apart." while Peeta said "Together."

We looked at each other again and Haymitch sighed.

"I guess I'll decide. You'll be trained together. Saves me time and Terra can learn to behave."

I glared at him and he smirked. Stuff me in a room with Peeta when you know I don't like him. This guy just liked poking all my old wounds didn't he?

"Today when you go to training, don't do anything that you're actually good at. No weights for you, and no arrows for you." We both nodded.

"Good. And don't leave each other's sides. You look like friends now, aside from the fact that Terra acts like she's a cold witch to everyone. You two have acted fairly friendly towards each other. Let's keep it that way."

Effie let us finish up breakfast, which I savored. Both Peeta and I started to dunk our breads into the hot chocolate again and a few people exchanged glances around that table after watching us. I ignored them.

As soon as we were done, Effie took us to the elevator. Luckily it was empty, probably because we were at the top floor.

Effie kept glancing at her fancy silver watch, mumbling about being right on time, but as soon as we walked into the area, she got all flustered. Everybody was there already, with their escorts. As soon as we arrived, the other escorts left and so did Effie. We were left in a big room full of weapons and soon to be killers with only a few Capital trainers in the room at the stations. I sighed, this would be a fun afternoon. A tan muscular lady appeared in front of us. I have no clue what she said after that except something about encouraging us to try new things and that we were more than welcome to us anything in the gym. I can't even pronounce her name.

Peeta and I stood next to each other for a few minutes, looking at all the stations. Edible plants, knot tying, snare making, climbing, heaving lifting, spears, swords, knife throwing, wrestling, hand to hand combat, camouflage, bow and arrow, running, fencing, fire building and a lot of blue dummies that we were going to stab, slice and behead. I glanced at Peeta and he looked just as overwhelmed.

"How about edible plants?" I asked.

He nodded.

We spent an hour at that station, the instructor very pleased with me. Apparently most people didn't really care about edible plants when they got here. I could understand that, too many shiny, pointy weapons tempting them. I learned different types of plants in different environments and how to prepare them. I was excelling while Peeta was behind, unable to tell the difference between the poisonous plants and the edible ones. Maybe I wouldn't have to kill him, he could just accidentally eat a poisonous berry or root.

After that, we went to the spear station, both of us throwing fairly well. We could both improve on stance and technique, but both of us were able to hit relatively near the target after a few tries. I glanced at the District Five tribute next to us that was hitting the center each and every time. I sighed, resisting the urge to retreat to my bow and arrow and throwing knives. They glinted over at the station next to us, practically taunting me. I watched as a girl tried unsuccessfully to load the bow and then pull it back far enough to get any distance.

"You want to try climbing?" Peeta asked.

I glanced over at the climbing station. It was an elaborate set up of ropes and fake tree branches and rock walls. I watched as the small girl from District Eleven scaled the wall quickly and swung across the ropes. She lost her footing a little, but she got back on easily. I nodded and we joined her in the ropes.

Peeta pulled himself up the length of the rope quickly, but once he got to the checkered areas of the ropes, he seemed to get confused and tangled. Deciding to keep up the friendship façade, I swung easily over to him and dangling on bent ankles to smile and laugh at him. He smiled back and then fell back down onto the cushioned floor and I laughed again, waving before swinging up and righting myself. I looked up to see the little girl staring at us curiously.

"Hey," I said, waving with my free arm while I dangled from my arm and two legs.

"Hi." she replied. I smiled and continued to climb across the ropes and heading toward the rock walls. I heard her catching up easily to me.

"My name's Rue."

"Terra. Nice to meet you."

She frowned. "Nice to meet you, too?"  
>I laughed. "There are such things as allies in the Games." I pointed out.<p>

She smiled. "Allies? Really?"

"Well, I'll have to think about it, but you seem like a pretty good ally. You seem very good at climbing."

She nodded. "I like to climb the trees on the farm. There are some enclosed areas there where we have to pick fruit. I'm small and light so I can scale the trees and get the ones at the top easily."

"Cool. We mine coal. Not that I've ever been in the mines. We don't work until we turn eighteen."

She nodded. "Why are you being nice to the other tribute?"

I glanced at the direction she was looking at. "Peeta? He's okay."

"He seems a little clumsy." she said, giggling as Peeta fell again on the ropes.

"Yeah, I think I should go help him. See you later." I said, swinging down and climbing down the rock wall quickly.

I looked up and saw she was waving, then went back to climbing around the fake trees and ropes. I walked over to Peeta who was still trying, no to no avail, to climb up the ropes.

"I can climb the tree branches, but the ropes aren't my best." he said.

I nodded. "Branches are easier. I doubt there will be many ropes in the area, though."  
>"You never know. I'm sure someone said 'I bet there aren't going to be too many poisonous plants' during one of the Games."<p>

"You have a point. You better try again then." I said, elbowing him in the stomach.

"I think we should just go and try our hand at camouflage." he said, motioning to the empty station where the instructor was reading digital magazine with our faces plastered on the cover.

"Okay." I replied bluntly. I didn't really care much for camouflage, but I guess it could be useful.

As it turned out, Peeta was extremely good at the camouflage station. He turned himself into multiple things, dirt, tree branches, sand, dead leaves, mud. I watched as he swirled the colors over him. I realized that the reason he was so good at this was because of his talent at frosting cakes. I almost smiled when I thought of the cakes I'd seen him decorate, then caught myself. There wasn't anyone here to see me. I didn't have to act all friendly with him. It was just an act. Just an act. For some reason, it was one Haymitch wanted us to keep up.

As I swirled my own array of colors over me, I laughed at what I saw on me. I had started to turn myself into a splattered mess. If I tried to hide in the woods I would stick out like a sore thumb. Peeta also noticed and laughed at me.

I rolled my eyes and punched him playfully in the arm, leaving a bright orange stain on his upper arm. He frowned.

"Hey, what's that suppose to be? I'm mud right now, that looks like a deformed orange." he said, laughing.

I laughed too, and oddly, it wasn't forced.

I saw a few of the other tributes who were looking at us strangely, they probably were wondering why we were acting so happy with each other. Who cared anyway? I looked away and went back to playing with my bright paints, drawing silly designs. After another half hour of playing around, mostly laughing while the instructor stared at me disdainfully, we hosed off and went to eat lunch with the other tributes.

As soon as I stepped out of the showers I was dried instantly. I pulled on my clothes and walked outside to find Peeta standing there waiting for me, I smiled and walked in step with him to the cafeteria. As soon as we walked in I noticed the silence. There were only a few mutters here and there and a whisper if you listened hard. Everybody turned and stared at us as we walked over to the buffet that was laid out along one of the walls.

I smirked and nudged Peeta. "What's up with District Two?"

He glanced over at them. They were sitting like the king and queen of the table, all the others clustered around them. They were the usual Careers and even District Five was thrown in there too.

"Don't know. Maybe they're thinking they'll be the best chance for them to survive for a few days."  
>I nodded. I suddenly felt sober, thinking of all the bad things that could happen soon. There wasn't much that we could do to stop the inevitable. Whatever happened, there would be only one person walking out of the area alive. Once we got into the area, it would be surviving at all costs.<p>

Would one cost be killing someone that we used to be friends with? I sighed. No, I wasn't friends with anyone here. There wasn't anyone here I would think twice about killing. I had to get home to Brianna.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

We sat alone, in a little corner at a table made for four. I stared at the empty two chairs and then looked at Peeta instead. He was eating the delicious, tender orange chicken dish with a dark, leafy, green and buttery pasta. I glanced around the room for the hundredth time and then looked back at my plate. The Careers were all at one big round table made for ten, only two chairs were empty. The others were all piled into one really big, long table. They weren't really talking just glancing around, mostly at us. I went back to watching Peeta while I took careful bites of my own food, which was similar to his. I had decided to take a little of everything at the table which added a green pasta to my plate as well as a small slice of a very flavorful fish.

"So what did you think about training?" he asked, between bites.

"Everybody has a talent."  
>"Or talents." he added.<p>

"True." I said, cutting another piece of the chicken off.

"But we don't want to show people our talents. Remember what Haymitch said?"

"I understand. But I'm not sure our 'talents' are so great now. Watching them, I don't know what would happen in a real fight between any of us."  
>"I think you'd have a good chance."<p>

"Why?"

"Because you have an air of ruthlessness about you."  
>"Ruthless?" I asked, a little shocked. I always thought I was just cold, not a person with no boundaries. But did I have any boundaries now?<p>

"Yes. My own father even told me that I better try really hard to win, or else you would. And even my best probably wouldn't be enough."  
>I looked down at my plate, scooping up more food into my mouth to fill the silence that now was raining down on us.<p>

"I think you have a chance." I said finally. He laughed dryly.

"Don't laugh. You do."

"Only if you die in the first few minutes of the Games."  
>"Who says I won't?"<br>He got really serious then. "Don't say that. Don't just die then."

I rolled my eyes. "Why not? What's the difference between dying then and dying later? No sponsors? Disgracing poor Haymitch?"

"Leaving me alone in the area with no one. That's why not."

"You're selfish now." I mocked.

"And leaving Brianna home with no one is pretty bad too."

I remained silent, then got up to get a big bowl of a rich, creamy ice cream. I took one scoop from each tub, loving each and every bite. Peeta got his own full bowl too, but we were pretty silent for the rest of lunch. We only talked to keep up the act, and most of the time it was about silly stuff, like the ice cream flavors.

Both of us were now saddened by the thought of our impeding deaths.

The rest of the day passed in an almost silent blur. I liked it that way, I could think then. Peeta and I went back to the climbing station, I found it peaceful there, and I was determined to teach him how to climb a tree at least. I'd be just plain disgraceful to die because he couldn't figure out how to climb. It took the better part of an hour, but eventually he could get to the top at a semi-decent speed. Afterward we went over to the sword fighting/ fencing station. The sword felt heavy in my hands, oddly brutal in my grip. I glanced over at the District Two male tribute, Cato. He was slicing the heads off a bunch of brightly colored blue dummies. That could be my head in a few days.

I looked down at the sword again and sighed. The instructor was giving Peeta a sword that was the right length at the moment and I took a few test swings, probably looking really stupid. I watched Cato for a few seconds and then tried to copy him. The sword clattered to the ground. I frowned and picked it back up, again feeling uncomfortable with the weight. I watched Cato again, and tried again. His steps were quick and his movements were defiant, almost as if he was fighting with the sword as well as against it. I looked over at the rack of swords again and placed the one I had back. I selected, instead, a dull colored one that was a plain almost tarnished colored.

When I picked it up it felt so much lighter and easier to use. After watching him for a few more moments, I tried to copy him again. And there it was. It all seemed to make sense. I was able to move just like him, my arms and legs moving almost in a dance, now that they weren't weighed down with the heavy sword. I saw the swords master glance up at me, a little surprised. I also saw a few of the other tributes look my way, then look away quickly again. I'd just made a horrible mistake. I'd revealed a strength, one I didn't even know I had. I walked back over to Peeta.

"When did you learn to do that?" he whispered.

"Just now." I whispered back.

"What?"

"Guess it's beginner's luck."

"There's no such thing as luck. Because if it existed, we wouldn't be here right now."

"Maybe it's luck that we're here and not some other poor soul."

"I'm as poor a soul as you can get." I looked at him in surprise.

"You're crazy." I hissed

"No, I'm a coward."

I couldn't disagree with that. He was always too soft.

"Maybe I should play up the whole sword thing." I whispered to him. I wasn't really paying attention to the instructor. He was going on and on about the types of swords and how to carry your weight, moving it from one foot to the other so you could be quick and agile.

"They've all seen you now. No point in acting dumb."  
>I nodded.<p>

"Are you two ready?" the instructor asked, a little impatient.

We both nodded.

He showed us a few basic techniques. How to attack, how to parry, how to

pretty much not get chopped into little pieces. A girl from District Eight came over and the instructor left us alone with the dummies, telling us to practice attacks.

I walked over to one, keeping it a few yards away and then watched as Cato advanced on one dummy with quick shuffled steps and then slashed through it, stabbing the next one and bringing the sword down harshly through another's neck.

"You going to try that?" Peeta asked, nodding at Cato.

I shrugged and arranged the dummies in front of me in a similar arrangement. Then I repositioned myself as if they were circling me. I closed my eyes, calming myself a little. Then I imagined all the faces I could remember of the tributes that had looked lethal. I imagined each and everyone of them on a dummy. Then with a newfound rush of energy, I copied Cato's movements. They weren't exact, but they were pretty close to it. I was a bit more graceful than Cato. My slashes were more like one quick glide of my arm, a stab was more of a willowy point at the dummy. The only difference from the routine and a dance was that they were lethal.

Once I finished hacking all the dummies into little chunky blue pieces, I was sweating and huffing. I looked around me to see most of the tributes watching me, including Cato. He glared at me and looked at me for a long time, then in a lithe twist, he stabbed his sword through one of the remaining dummies. I got his message: that was me. I nodded once and then turned to look at Peeta and the instructor.

"Where did you learn that?" the instructor asked.

"From him." I said, jabbing my sword in Cato's general direction.

"Just now? From watching him?"

"Yep." I said, brushing a hair away from my face that was sticking on my face with sweat.

"Maybe I could teach two together."

I saw Cato raise his head and I looked over at him. Our eyes met and I saw pure hatred in his eyes, and my hatred reflected back.

"No. I'm training with Peeta." I said firmly.

"Peeta is not nearly as talented as you." He said it like Peeta wasn't even standing there. But I bet he was only interesting in training the tributes that had a good chance of winning. I wondered if he wanted to just brag or because he got a raise or something for helping that tribute win.

"I am training with Peeta." I said again, but this time I pointed the tip of the sword at his face, a few inches away. He stared at the tip, the nodded.

"Terra, you can train by yourself. I really don't mind." Peeta injected.

"I don't care." I spat at him. He actually flinched.

I decided to ignore it continue slashing the dummies. I don't know how long I spent there, but eventually I noticed that some of the other tributes had gathered around a little. They didn't do it obviously, but I could see them at the other stations that were closer to the station we were currently in. They're eyes were critical, I could see the beady black pupils. Peeta was next to me, continuing to practice, but I was simply copying the instructor now. He did something, then I mimicked it.

"Hey, Terra, you want a break?" Peeta asked. He was sweating now too, it reminded me of drying after a rainshower.

"I don't need one." I said. He frowned.

"Terra, you've got to be exhausted."

"I'm _not_!" I snapped. He flinched again. There was some little part of me that felt bad that I was doing this. I couldn't help it thought. I felt really fired up at the moment.

"We've only got a few more minutes in here anyway. Why don't you just rest now?"

I debated it for a moment before sighing and placing my sword back into the rack. My sword, that was how I was thinking of it now. I wondered if it had been smart of me to reveal my little talent. I hadn't told anyone about it before, but I couldn't help it. When I saw the swords I almost started crying and laughing at the same time.

I sat down next to Peeta on a bench, sipping water from a fancy stemmed glass. I didn't look at him, looked forward, watching Cato and then Rue.

_It was winter, and the frosty snow was coming down lightly around us. I didn't really want to be out here, but Wren had said it was a great time to train. She said the snow would help, which I didn't really understand. When I asked, she said it would help me want to move more to keep warm. I'd sighed, but hadn't argued. She was beautiful. As beautiful as anyone could be when they were barely fed. Her brown hair was a chestnut color and her gray Seam eyes glistened in the snowy weather landscape. She was dressed almost identically to me. In a thin shirt and a slightly thicker tunic made out of rare leather to keep us warm. The long sleeves made me itch. And we both had on the same plain black pants with sturdy boots. I was wearing her previous pair because we could only afford one new pair._

_ "Wren, when did you learn to do this?" I asked timidly. I was only five. Just a few weeks from the reapings that would change my life forever. _

_ Her eyes got distant. "From a very gold friend."  
>"Who?" I asked, struggling to keep up with her long, quick strides. I would develop the same walk unconsciously later on in my life.<em>

_ She smiled sadly. "Maybe I'll tell you about him someday. He was a wonderful person. I really miss…" She stopped herself and kept looking forward. _

_ "Wren, is he dead?" I asked._

_ She nodded, a tear streaming down her cheek, which she brushed away quickly, almost slapping herself. _

_ I gripped her hand. "I'm sorry."  
>"Not your fault." she choked out.<em>

_ "I meant for bringing it up." I said and she laughed. I smiled. _

_ "You're too grown up. You should still be playing with the other little girls with straw dolls."  
>"I don't mind." I said, holding my head up a little higher. "I don't fit in with them. They are all really, really girly. And I like playing with the boys better."<br>She laughed. "I was like that too." _

_ We walked in silence for a few more minutes. I studied the tall oak trees that were covered in a thick ice with snow dragging their branches down. One clump fell down as a squirrel leaped up on the branch, making a funny dumping sound. The ice looked like crystals sticking to the branches, shiny, but they would disappear soon. They would just melt soon… _

_ "We're here." Wren said, smiling down at me. I laughed instinctively. _

_ Laid out before us was a beautiful frozen lake. We couldn't walk on it yet, the ice was too thin, but soon. Very soon we could walk on it, and then maybe skate a little too. My skates were too small, but Wren would out grow hers soon and I'd get them. We didn't really skate much in the Seam, but up near the village there was another lake that was even bigger than this one. We would go and skate there sometimes when Wren could spare a work day and mother allowed us to leave. The village kids were mean, but I didn't care. No one really messed with Wren so I stuck close to her._

_ "You want to gather the wood?" she asked._

_ I nodded and started to pick up the few dried branches that were littered around the trees. The snow was too cold and hadn't melted yet, so the branches weren't soaked. Just cold. I was glad Mother had found enough wool to make me a pair of cloves. _

_ Wren was already walking off to the small cabin. It was a sturdy cabin, one that had been in our family for a while now. Wren and Father had constructed it a long time ago when she was still a little girl and our uncle had still been alive. He died of starvation and malaria a few years ago. I wished he was still around, he always used to be able to find some sort of sweet for us and he would sing beautiful songs. _

_ Once I'd gathered enough fire wood, Wren made quick work of the fire and then placed the metal pot over it that I filled with water. We then added all the scraps we had from our past few meals and watched as it boiled into a fairly good stew. Mother didn't really care what we did with the scraps. She didn't like waste, but she didn't like serving us this concoction. We didn't really care. Beggars couldn't be choosers._

_ "Ready?" she asked._

_ I nodded. She went to the loose board in the floor and pulled it free, then untangled our two swords from the straw underneath. I stared at the two blades. I didn't really understand the story about the swords. One was Father's and the other was Uncle's, I don't know how they made them though. They had created them sometime with their father, but I'd never met him. He died before my time. I picked up mine, it was pretty big, but I was able to handle it well. I was big for my age._

_ "Start practicing." she said, picking her blade up as well. Both were very simple, a handle and blade. No carvings, not decoration. _

_ I practiced the drills she had taught me. In the snow, it was harder to move as smoothly as I usually did. Wren was still a fairy, even in the snow. Her movements were strong and precise. I could see her watching me from the corner of her eye, so I worked harder to copy her. The sword was far too large for me, but she'd taught me to handle even this size of a sword. She said that when the time came that I would need to fight, I wouldn't have a choice over something like size._

_ After a few hours of drills and sparing, we walked back into the cabin, feasting on the stew. It never tasted better. _

_ "What happened to your friend?" I asked._

_ She sighed, scraping the last of her stew out. "He was sent to the area."  
>"And he died?"<br>She nodded. "I couldn't believe it. He was one of the last seven, but still, not enough. He was poisoned by his ally. Don't trust anyone, ever, Terra. Just yourself."  
>"What about you?"<br>"I would never hurt you, Terra. But don't expect me to be here forever. I might just let you down someday."_

_ "If you get married, you'll still be close by. And then I'll have nieces and nephews!" I said, giddy with the idea._

_ She smiled. "I'm not sure I want children. They're names will go into the reaping and then I'll have to deal with the fear for eighteen years. The fear of them being used in the Capital."_

_ "Wren?"  
>"Hm?"<br>"What if you get reaped from the girls next month?"_

_ She fingered her pendant, the mockingjay one. I loved that necklace. She was thinking her answer through. She was careful about what she said. She knew I wouldn't say anything, but I was still a child. Something might slip out._

_ "Then I promise you I will come home."  
>I smiled. "As long as they have a sword at the Cornucopia, you'll win."<em>

I sighed, feeling the pain of her loss all over again. I glanced over at Peeta and nodded when I saw the question in his eyes. We both got up and walked out of the training center. A few of the other tributes had left as well. It was down to us, District Two, Eleven and the girls from District One and Five.

As we were walking out, I glanced back at Cato and his deadly sword swinging through the air. He reminded me of Wren.

"You broke your promise. You didn't come back." I whispered to no one. Maybe her ghost was hanging around me right now.

"Did you say something?" Peeta asked.

I shook my head. "Just talking to myself."

And the ghost of a girl that fought as hard as she could. And it still wasn't enough.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

"You did _what_?" Haymitch yelled at me.

I frowned at him. "What did I do wrong?"

"You disobeyed me! I said do not do anything that could reveal a talent!"

"Talent? That was all an accident." I said. Peeta had given him an update about the whole training day and apparently Haymitch felt that I had been a little too good at the swords to have just miraculously learned it all in a few hours.

"Don't tell those lies to me. I know when I see a liar. Just like your sister." The last part was muttered.

"Excuse me?" I asked.

"Your whole family is just destined to be a huge problem, isn't it?" he said, still talking to himself.

"I did nothing wrong." I said, ignoring his rambling.

"Oh, 'nothing wrong.'" he mocked. "I distinctly remember that your sister was a very skilled swordsman and now, oh look at that. Her little sister can handle a sword like the boy who's trained his whole life?"  
>I swallowed. "She might have taught me a little."<br>"A little. Of course." Sarcasm dripped from each word. He pushed some hair off of his face. "You're just as reckless as her."  
>"Reckless? You want us to hide everything and then we're singled out as targets. The weak ones always go first." I said.<p>

"Not the truly brave and the playing weak. Don't think I haven't learned something over the years. I know full well what the other tributes do. They act really helpless and they look like dolls. That District Eleven girl? Please, she's not helpless. She's playing helpless. She's using a well known, but hard to detect strategy."

"So why can't I used a different strategy?"  
>"Because you can't pull it off!" he yelled, pulling at his hair.<p>

"Then what do you want me to do. Pretend it was a fluke. Beginner's luck?"  
>He sighed, seeming to get a little calmer. "No. Don't show off anymore, but don't stop practicing. You need to show them you're strong. Now that they know you have a special little talent, they'll gage how strong it is. If you prove you're just as good as that other boy, they might leave you alone. They'll be scared you'll kill them off. But if you show you're good, but now too good, then they'll single you out. You'll be considered a threat, so they'll kill you off quickly."<p>

I sighed. "Fine. I still have other talents, though. I'm not just good with a blade."

"I'm sure you do. But don't screw that up too. Stick to the sword and then wow them later with something else." he barked.

I nodded. "Can I leave now?"

He glared at me for a few seconds before swinging his arm at the door. He took a swig from the bottle that was sitting on the clear glass table. I heard him slump down onto the plushy couch as I turned by back on him. I was about to open the door when he started talking again.

"You really are like her." he said.

I stopped, hand on the cold round doorknob.

"You remember her?" I whispered, I was sure he could barely hear me.

"Of course. It's hard to forget a girl like her. Lots of fire, spunk. She was so certain she was going home, going home to you and your family. I was just as sure as she was. I knew what she was like. She wasn't like the other lost poor children that were reaped out of the bowls. She had a chance and I expected her to win. I gave her all the help I could." he said. I heard him take another drink.

"But the thing is," he continued. "She was too sure of herself. She was arrogant or too certain. She let that tribute sneak up on her; she should have been more alert. You know, she was seeking out another tribute to kill. She thought she was so great."

I sighed. "I know."

"Really? I thought you'd be angry with me for telling you this. I expected you to defend her, being her sister and everything."

I shook my head, leaning against the door with my back towards him. The hard, smooth wood was acting as a safety rope, keeping me grounded.

"No, I knew. I knew even then. I was only five, but I remember thinking, 'Wren, what are you doing? You're practically gliding through this competition and you're becoming too proud.'"

"Well, you should know that the boy that actually won was a friend of your sisters. For a few days at least. He was very unhappy when she died. I don't know if they showed the footage, I don't really remember much, but I remember sitting in the Control Room looking at all the different screens. And when they blew that cannon, he stopped and listened, hoping to get a hint as to who had just died. And that night when they flashed her face through the sky, he cried along with you and your family."  
>I had pressed my face into the wood by then, almost as if I was banging my head into the door.<p>

"Why are you telling me this?" I asked into the door. I was fighting tears.

"Because the same thing is happening to you."  
>"What are you talking about?" I asked, a little harsh.<p>

"You think I don't see? Peeta. Tell me about him."  
>And then all the sadness evaporated. It was replaced with rage. Red, hot fiery rage at only one person. Haymitch.<p>

"You're an idiot." I lashed out. I turned around to face him, brushing away the loose hairs around my face. "You don't know a thing. I only get along with Peeta because you told us to. And if I remember correctly, you have a deal with both of us about your drinking habits. Just because you've been used to being drunk for the past twenty three years doesn't mean I'll put up with it."

"I see I've hit a nerve." he replied coolly.

"And I'm sure this will hit one of your nerves. You've been drunk for the past twenty-three years and now there are forty-six children dead. Maybe it was your fault, maybe not. Either way, they were under your care. I don't plan on being number forty-seven."  
>It looked like I'd slapped him in the face for a second, before he took another sip from the bottle.<p>

"It'll take more than that, Terra, to hit a nerve." he said, but we both knew he was lying.

I actually growled like an animal and left him in the room, getting drunk as usual. I'd make sure he was sober if it was the last thing I did. I was not going to have his stupid habits get Peeta and me killed.

"Hey, Terra." Peeta said. He was walking down the hallway, smiling an annoyingly goofy smile until he saw my face. "What happened?"

"You told him about training?" I hissed, pulling him away from the door and a little ways down the hallway, between doors.

"He asked, why?"  
>"Well Haymitch wasn't so happy about my sudden talent with swords."<p>

"Oh, but you're just good at it. It's like I guess I was born with the gift of being good at frosting cakes. It's not like you chose to be good at it."

I laughed coldly. "Peeta, you are so naïve."

He frowned. "You trained before?"

I gave him a look. I was sure the hallways were bugged with cameras and microphones. "Of course not. When could I have trained? We were in District Twelve, not Two where they train them to be killers."

He understood immediately. "Yeah. True."

"Ready for dinner?"

"Always. The meals here are the best. I'll really miss them."  
>I nodded and forced a fake smile onto my face when I saw Venia and Octavia walking down the hall towards us. I waved and hook my arm through Peeta's and walked and started to laugh like a schoolgirl at something I pretended Peeta had said. He fell into the act easily.<p>

"I'm telling the truth. He walked in with his goat and it started to eat the parchment paper. My mom was so mad at him." he said, laughing too.

When we walking into the foyer we met Effie there and she led us to the living room where we would watch some updates on the Games. The announcers, Claudius Templesmith and Livida Hecklet were talking about the training day. There wasn't any footage of us really training, just some basic stuff. Us listening to the lady that had been talking in the beginning, the District Four group tying knots, Cato slashing a few dummies (they showed a lot of him), his partner throwing knives as targets, Rue building a fire. It was all pretty simple. They commented on Cato and his fellow district tribute, saying they were both very talented with weapons.

I took this time to just think a little. I was caught up on the moment in the hallway when Peeta had automatically adapted to my lie of a happy time. If I won, would those moments become my life? Always afraid of being overheard, always afraid of being punished for a few wrong words. I couldn't imagine that but I was pretty sure all the Victors were pretending they were something they weren't really. They were all just actors really. Actors and murders. I didn't want to be that person that was being shown all over the screens and having to pose and act perfect all the time. Maybe Haymitch was smarter than he looked. If he were drunk all the time they would leave him alone. They wanted to entertain people, not disgust them.

I wasn't really paying attention until Peeta nudged me and I glanced up to see my face on the screen. I paid attention then.

"Livida, what do you think of this girl?"  
>"Well, Claudius, I certainly think she had potential. Watch her in this next shot."<br>And there I was, slashing and stabbing at the dummies. They made it look really dramatic, close ups on my sweaty face and of this cold look of concentration on my face. I could see Peeta in the background, practicing and then watching me. I also saw Cato watching me from the corner of his eye. But I was mostly focused on me, and the sword in my hand. Could I win this? I slapped myself mentally; I shouldn't get cocky. That was what Wren did wrong. Anyways, if Cato and I were to fight, I'd be dead.

"Wow, that girl's defiantly going to make it far into the Games." Claudius said.

"You never know. She could just as easily die off in the beginning." Livida countered.

"These are the Hunger Games. But I still think she has a good chance."  
>She laughed. "They all have a chance. That's what got them here in the first place."<br>"Very true."

"What I was watching the second I watched this clip was the boy in the background." The screen behind them zoomed in and sharpened on Peeta's face.

"Isn't he handsome?"

"And it looks like they were sticking together the whole time during training. Ever heard of that?"

"No, how unusual."

"Yes, very true. I wonder what they'll do in the Games."

He smiled charmingly. "What goes on in and outside of the Area is very different."

She nodded. "Join us tomorrow night when we give you another update on the status of our tributes. Only three more days until the interviews!"

"I can't wait to hear from all of them personally."  
>Livida flashed a shining, pearly white, perfect row of teeth at the camera.<p>

"Thank you and good night, Panem!"

I rolled my eyes and then looked at all their expressions. They were all looking at me.

"What?" I asked incredulously.

Then Cinna clapped, slow and steady. "I guess we do have a Girl on Fire amongst us." he said, smiling. "Let's go to dinner to celebrate."  
>He pointed a look at me and I felt a fake smile spread across my face. I wondered why he was helping me. He didn't really know me, but I knew well enough that everyone was just a little on edge around me. They were suspicious. I just decided not to know how to pick up a sword and then I did that to a bunch of defenseless dummies. Cinna was helping me dig a hole out of the mountain I'd created for myself.<p>

"Yes, we have a special dinner planned because of your first day of training. It will help boost your energy, you'll need it in the area." Effie said, smiling again.

I smiled back, fake. Was this going to be the rest of my life? Fake smiles? Or would I just not get a 'rest of' and have it end here with a lot of glitter and make up?

We walked to the dining room in a group, but I lingered in the back. Peeta stayed in the back too, but he didn't try to speak to me. He knew better than that I guess. He was staying a good distance away, but I could see him looking at me out of the corner of his eye. I was looking at him too so I guess I shouldn't be the one criticizing him. I wonder what he thought of me now.

When we got to the dining room, the plates and dishes were already laid out; apparently the staff had expected us soon. We sat down to a meal that began with a refreshing cold soup with potatoes and small perfectly circular slices of vegetables of all colors. I had a particular fondness for the bright purple ones. Then we each had a seasoned fillet of fish served that I couldn't get enough of. Each bite was like heaven and it melted in my mouth. The next course was a vegetable and pasta mix, both very small, but left me wanting more of their creamy richness. The dinner courses ended with a thick lamb stew with large chunks of celery and carrots mixed throughout it.

When I thought it couldn't possibly get any better they brought out dessert. It was a large purple and chocolate swirled pie with a blackish crust. I smiled when they lit it on fire, keeping up with the theme. Across the table, I saw Peeta looking at me through the flames. The glow of the flames cast an eerie on his face, making him look more devilish. I frowned, thinking about how I must look. We each got a huge slice of the pie.

After dinner, everybody seemed to silently agree to head to bed early. I saw good night to Cinna, making sure to make eye contact with him. I hope he understood I meant to thank him for saving me back in the living room. He was more observant than I gave him credit for. He wasn't like the other Capitals either. They were all so shallow while he seemed to be able to remain in their ranks while still seeming somewhat human. I wondered if the Victors from the past years have changed or if they've managed to do the same. Or if they're crazy. I know some of them don't know what to do with the money and waste it on frivolous things and others can't take the pressure and reduce themselves to drugs and alcohol. Much like Haymitch.

"Good night, Terra." Cinna replied, nodding a little when he saw the look I gave him. I don't think anybody else noticed.

As I turned to head to my room, I was surprised to see that Peeta hadn't just left. I sighed, but walked next to him to our rooms.

"Good night, Terra." he said, smiling softly.

I nodded. "Night, Peeta."

I was turning to go when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I shrugged it off and turned to look up at him. I never noticed how tall he was.

"What?" I asked.

"I think your sister would be proud of you right now." he said.

I was tongue tied, suddenly unable to come up with a witty comeback. I was pretty sure that he knew about my sister being in the Hunger Games, but I didn't want his pity. It was what I had to deal with personally. I didn't need him.

I was silent and just nodded before slipping into my room.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

The next day at training I did pretty much the same stuff, with Peeta shadowing me the whole way. We spent an hour at the camouflage station and then a few minutes at the fire station. But then we headed to the simple training station where they let us work out for as long as we wanted. We both did light lifting. Okay, mine was light and Peeta was light for him. Then running and then more lifting. We both seemed to have silently agreed to lay low for a while until the end so I could have some practice with the swords again. Cato was switching between hand to hand combat, swordsmanship and spear throwing today.

I tried to ignore the little girl, Rue, that was following us around. She tried to do everything we did. She reminded me of Brianna a lot because I was sure Brianna would have been following us around like a sick puppy too. I didn't really mind and Peeta didn't comment on it, so I left her alone. Peeta and me were barely talking. I didn't really mind that either.

Wren was constantly on my mind. I kept thinking back to her, how she probably had stood here, trained here. It almost caused me cry, but I held back the tears. I didn't need to seem weak right now when we were all trying so hard to be strong. Wren had been strong…

"Terra," Peeta said. I glanced up. He had stopped doing presses and was looking down at me while I lifted the weights up over my head and then back down again. Up, down, up down.

"Hm?"  
>"We're going to lunch now." he said, nodding at the crowd of Tributes that were heading to dining hall. I sighed and shot him an annoyed look when he carefully took the weights off of me. I wasn't fragile.<p>

"Thanks." I said, but it sounded so cruel that it was almost an insult.

"You're welcome."

I got up quickly and wiped my face off with a towel nearby. It felt like solid snow against my face. Everything here in the Capitol was perfect to an extent, but there was something off about all of it at the same time. Like everything was poisoned or something.

"You don't have to wait for me." I said as we walked to the dining room.

"Actually I do." he said and smiled at me, his mouth forming a dazzling grin. But his eyes barely showed any emotion. I nodded.

"Thanks." I said, trying to look a little more convincing than him, but I was pretty sure it wasn't working. I wasn't very emotional any way.

I loaded my plate full of Capitol delights, but I barely tasted anything thing. The forest green, creamy mixture I swallowed didn't really taste like anything. The bright pink vegetables that were toasted to a crisp were bland. Even the large slab of red velvet cake with the rich creamy, ivory frosting had little effect on me. I spent the whole lunch staring at the other Tributes, engaging in a little mindless small talk with Peeta every now and then. Really, I was happy that everybody already knew that I wasn't the most talkative person or else they might have found my attitude to my so called "friend" a little suspicious.

I was a little more than fascinated by the Careers. I always wondered what they were like outside of the area. They weren't anything like I expected. They were laughing and smiling at each other like they were the best of friends, but their eyes were blank and cold. I could tell, they all hated each other and they all knew it too. They would all end up turning on each other anyway. There could only be one winner and I hoped with all my heart that it would be me.

"Terra? Terra?" Peeta asked, waving his hand in my face. From the way he spoke I could tell he'd been saying my name before. I just hadn't been paying attention like I was supposed to.

"Hm?" I said, looking up and mustering up a little interest.

"I asked you if you wanted to go back now."  
>"Oh, yeah, sure." The other Tributes were getting up too, as if they had all heard Peeta and decided to follow us too.<p>

"What do you want to do now?"

"Swords." I answered immediately, without hesitating. I was itching to get my hands on a blade.

As we filed in with the other Tributes I walked over to the swordsmanship station with Peeta in tow. But when I got there I stiffened. There was Cato with a blade in his hand, but this time it wasn't his usual blade. No, it was the one I had been using yesterday. He was studying it, looking at his reflection in the shiny blade. He glanced up at me with bright amber eyes and I stared him down. He winked at me and then lifted his arm up, bring it down along with the blade into the dummy near him.

I took a deep breath and walked over to the station, trying to seem unmoved by the obvious threat. He smirked at me and then walked over to his usual spot. I looked over at Peeta and saw that he was staring at me.

"Don't let him get to you."

I nodded. "Don't worry about it."  
>He smiled, a genuine smile, at me and then picked up the practice blade. The instructor quickly came over to help him again, ignoring me entirely except for nodding in the direction of my spot yesterday.<p>

I went over to the rack and stared at all of the swords that were lined up for me to choose. They all were good blades, but each time I picked one up it felt too heavy or too light, too small, too big. I tested all of them, coming up with the same results. I looked over at Cato and saw him using my sword. The dull, dark silver color flashed around, calling to me. It didn't even match his personality, let alone his style. His movements were brutal, his expression cruel. I could feel a belligerent attitude flowing off of him, but the blade? No, it wasn't something that was harsh.

It was a light blade, long and thin, almost like an extension of the arm. I used it like a wand almost, dancing around with it, but Cato was hacking hard at the dummies. I hated it, he was using it all wrong in my eyes. And now I could see flaws. When he brought it down I could see him get a little frustrated. He wasn't used to such a light blade, one that was so easy to move. He liked the heavy more war-like blades with the thick blade and a heavy metal. He was just using it to annoy me, to mock me.

"Don't let him get to you." Peeta whispered to me as he walked pass, getting a dummy. He pointed a look at me and I sighed. Slightly annoyed, but not exactly ready to show it.

I glanced up again, promising myself that it would be the last time I would look up at Cato because he didn't deserve my attention. But when I looked up I saw he was watching me. Why was he watching me? And then I saw his gaze flicker to Peeta and he started to walk over. I saw the look in his face. It was the look of someone that was ready to harm someone. I'd seen it a few times on the faces of idiotic classmates.

"Peeta," I hissed. He didn't hear me. His back was turned to me, practicing stabbing a dummy. "Move."  
>"Peeta!" I said again. He didn't turn and Cato was still coming. I did something really stupid.<p>

I walked right into him.

I took one step forward and another until I was on a head first collision with Cato. You'd have thought that the sound of us hitting each other was a crack of lightening and thunder. Every eye in the room turned to look at us. I glanced up at him. Neither of us moved, just stared at each other. I wasn't even close to his height, maybe a little shorter by five or four inches. He was maybe 6'2" and I was about 5'9" or 5'8". I could hear his heavy breathing compared to my calm inhale-exhale.

"Move." he said.

I did a small shake of my head. His eyes hardened. He raised a hand and just like that I was set off. One of the rules was not to fight outside of the area, but everything flew out of my head as I saw him, hand raised to hit me, push me, I didn't know. I just reacted.

I side stepped and stood behind him pulling his arm back and keeping it pinned to his back. He grunted in annoyance more than pain. His free hand came back to hit me square in the face, but I had expected that and I moved out of the wave quickly.

I heard fast footfalls and they distracted me. I felt a hard blow on my shoulder that sent me staggering backward, leaving an opening. I felt another blow, probably a kick, to my leg, and I crumpled to the ground.

I could feel him move forward on the mat toward me, but the footfalls were closer not and then there was yelling. I glanced up through my hair and sweat to see two large men holding Cato back while another person, the lady from the first day, starting yelling at him.

"You know the rules! No fighting with other Tributes!"

"You saw her! She attacked me first!" he roared back.  
>"I saw her alright and all I saw was her bumping into you! Do not think this will go unpunished. You are not allowed to train anymore today and tomorrow, you will stay at least ten feet away from her at all times."<p>

He ripped his arms away and growled in frustration and then turned his full glare towards me. The lady looked between both of us and then nodded at both of us.

"Both of you, behave." she barked. Then she walked off.

I realized I was still collapsed on the ground, breathing hard. I leapt up fluently and stood up. I swept up the sword he'd dropped and looked up at Cato. He was watching me, as I thought he would. I swung the blade a little, being a little too showy with it. I walked up to a dummy and smiled wickedly, a smile only he saw. I used the tip to carve a quick "C" into its head. Then I came up from behind it and sliced it clean off. He got the message.

I watched as he walked away.

The rest of training was pretty uneventful. Every now and then I could see a curious face look over at us and then look away when they realized I'd seen them. Some were a little more brave and looked at me for a little longer. One girl, Shelby I think, from District Four even nodded at me.

Peeta seemed a little worried about me, which was more annoying than anything. He kept saying stuff like "take it easy" and "don't over do it" as if I had been injured. I assured him that I was fine, I'd just been pushed and kicked. It wasn't a fatal injury. I was perfectly find and able to continue training.

"Terra, you don't have to prove anything. Just take it easy." he said for what seemed like the hundredth time.

"Peeta, it was just a small encounter. We'll have worse in the next few days." I said as I swung the sword again. "Anyway, when did you start caring about me?"

"About the same time you started caring about me." he said, glancing over to gauge me reaction.

Care about him? Did I care about him? What was it with this boy that got to me. I could feel a little ice melt off of me. I had stepped in front of Cato to keep him from Peeta. That murderous look in his eyes had bothered me. Cato had known it would bother me for him to go for Peeta. He'd done it on purpose. He wanted to see how much I really "cared" for Peeta. And now everybody knew. Everybody knew that I was a little more than protective of Peeta. The ice froze over again. I was angry with Peeta for now being a weakness. I didn't care about him.

At the end of the day, Peeta and I were the last ones out. I had decided to linger a little longer in the training room, putting the blade back carefully. The only other people left in the room were the two Tributes from District Six, and they were just getting the paint off from their session at the camouflage station.

"So did you think long enough about what I said?" Peeta asked. His smile was playful. And it made me sick.

"Yes. And I don't care for you at all. You should know that. Don't assume things."

He frowned. "Then why did you stop Cato from coming at me?"

"Because that's what I was supposed to do. I was supposed to be your friend and save you. That's what Haymitch said."

"Save me?" We were in the elevator now, all alone.

"Yes, you could never have handled him." I said, looking away.

"I think you under estimate me."  
>"I feel the same way." I replied.<p>

"Really? Because I think everybody knows you're the tough girl. 'Don't get in my way because I'll chop your head off.'" he said, mocking me. "You are just putting up a front. An act."

"And you aren't?" I asked, turning to look at him full in the face.

"What are you talking about?"  
>"Don't think I don't see through your little act. As if you actually like me. As if you can stand everyone. As if you don't want to kill everybody else so you can go home and live a cushy life."<p>

My words were a slap in the face on him.

"I see you eyeing the knives, by the way. Don't think I don't. You're not exactly subtle."

He didn't say anything.

The elevator pinged, announcing our arrival. We both looked at the doors, watching them open and then stepping out. We both walked down the hallway in silence. I stopped in front of my door and Peeta lingered a little near his.

"Thank you. For stopping him. I maybe be good with knives, but I'm no go with a sword. I could never have taken him." he whispered.

I paused, my hand on the doorknob. "Just don't expect it in the area." I said quickly and then swung the door open and closed behind me.

I heard him go into his room and I threw myself on the bed, more disturbed by my actions than ever.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

I thought a lot about home that night. I didn't really know why. Just knew that I needed to think about something other than Peeta and the Games. There was a lot to think about and that was good. It kept my mind occupied. I mostly thought about the other girls that school. The way they had all gravitated towards Wren and left me alone. She had been so popular, always the head of the crowd without even realizing it. And, of course, I had turned out to be the outcast. I wonder if it would have been different if I had actually had time to hang out with other girls my age instead of spending all my time in the woods. Maybe I could have been like Wren, a natural leader. Maybe they would have gravitated towards _me_.

The girls, they all walked around in groups. They did each other's hair and complained about innocent things like being unable to buy a new dress and not having any ribbons and feeling hungry all the time. But they also looked on the bright side of things. At least they looked like the models in the Capital. Maybe a Capital man would come and sweep them off their feet and take them to that magical place where they could live with their families and have happy lives. That seemed to be all of their dreams. To get away from District Twelve. Or maybe Peeta Mellark would notice them and they would be able to marry the baker's son. At least then they would never go hungry. It was better than starving in the streets.

If they were in my position now, what would they do? Think of it like some romantic tale where everything turns out okay and the whole world just rights itself? Isn't that what everybody hopes? That by some crazy miracle everything would be okay in their lives? Sadly, I'm not that naïve.

The next morning, I was awoken by Effie rapping on my door and calling me out in that annoying sing-song voice. Today I was determined to do my best. Today was going to be the private sessions. I'm not exactly glad that the Gamesmakers think they can make us do whatever they want and entertain them, but I have to do this right to get sponsors. If I don't have sponsors I don't have any chance at all. I'm pretty sure someone will find my archery and swordsmanship interesting and useful. Or they'll think I'll die and take pity on me at least.

I dressed all in black today, not really feeling that happy. I walked out of my room to a blissfully empty hallway. I walked in my own company to the dining hall, seeing the whole team at the table already. As soon as I sat down, there was a large plate of steaming breakfast breads placed in front of us all and I dug in right away, dipping it in the hot chocolate, an idiosyncrasy I had developed. No one even glanced at me, they were all talking about strategy.

"So what are you going to do today?" Haymitch asked Peeta as he buttered a large fluffy roll.

"Not sure. Maybe through some heavy stuff, try out the knives. Maybe I'll paint myself away so that they can't watch me every second I'm in there."

Haymitch only frowned. "Terra, tell me you have a better plan."

I shrugged. "Nope."

"Both of you are helpless." he said taking a long swig from a dark colored bottle.

"It's not like you've actually mentored us at all." I snapped.

He glanced at me over the edge of the bottle. "Well, you want some 'mentoring'? Fine. Peeta, use the knives to your advantage. The dummies defiantly can be used as a prop. Same for you Terra. Peeta, you need to show off your strength. Throw a few of the weights around and maybe used the punching bag a bit. Terra, just tear apart the dummies. They'll find you interesting enough."

I frowned. He gave Peeta actual advice while I just got 'tear apart the dummies' as if I couldn't come up with that myself. I sighed and continued to eat. But for the first time since I got to the Capital, the food seemed bland and flavorless, almost like sand.

"Haymithc, I've always wanted to ask you this." Effie said, smiling and trying to be perky as usual. "What did you do when you went to your private session? If I remember correctly, you got a fairly high score."

He glanced up and grumbled a little. I could barely hear him. Something about swords…

"Pardon me?" Effie said, raising a carefully painted eyebrow.

"Oh, forget it. It's not of your business. It's over and it has nothing to do with you."

Effie simply nodded and continued to eat her fruit like a lady. Like she always did.

"Peeta, what do you think about also showing your painting skills? From what Terra said, you are pretty good with using the body paint." Cinna said, waving his fork around in the air. For some reason, that little motion fascinated me. It felt so familiar.

"I don't know. I'm not sure if they'll find that interesting enough compared to all the other Tributes doing something amazing and athletic."

"Well, you have plenty of time. I'm sure they wouldn't mind see a demonstration of your skills in the beginning and then seeing the big finish with your 'amazing and athletic' talents."

Peeta seemed to think it over for a bit before nodding. "What do I have to loose?"

Everything, I thought silently. You have everything to loose.

The room was starting to feel suffocating when Effie finally declared that it was time to go. She set us all up in a sort of formation, which I really didn't understand, but agreed to anyway. Cinna and Portia and the rest of the prep team were in the front, then her and Haymitch and finally Peeta and me. We all walked solemnly to the elevator and then slowly decided downward. They walked us all the way to the doors of the Training Room and then they all bid us good bye, saying all the generic good lucks.

"You can do Girl on Fire." Cinna whispered to me.

"Thank you." I whispered back.

Peeta and I walked into the room side by side. When we were about to reach the last door that led to the waiting room, he gently took my hand and held onto it lightly. I flinched a little and tried to pull back, but he held on tighter. He gave me a pointed look that could have been affection from anybody else's point of view, but to me it said "just keep up the act."

I sighed and nodded. We both stopped in front of the large metal double doors and I took a deep breath and pushed them open, revealing a terrifying room.

The room was plain, made only of medal. In the center of the room there was a long table that was both round and rectangular. And around the table was twenty -four chairs positioned at equal distances. The Districts were all grouped together, all the pairs clinging to each other even though they all hated each other. There were only two chairs left, side by side, at the end of the table. Of course the other end was occupied by District Two. I took my seat stiffly and held on to Peeta's hand under the table. Now I just needed something to hold me down to Earth, or else I might jump up and attack Cato this very second.

A man walked in a few minutes after we were seated. He looked a little annoyed at us, I guess they had to wait for us to get here, and started to explain the process.

"Today you are all getting a chance to prove to the Gamemakers that you have some form of a talent or skin. Everything goes. Be creative and don't hold anything back. Once they have witnessed your greatest talents, they will rate you on a scale of zero to twelve, twelve being the highest. You will go in individually, starting with the boys first in each District. District One, your first. Marvel Lush, _go_."

We all seemed to stiffen a little at the sound of that last word. Go. Go to your death, go to your victory, go to your end. Go was a strong word. What about "go kill innocent children?" And then there was only a mantra playing in my head over and over of one sentence. Go die President Snow. _Go die President Snow_.

We all sat in silence for the first few minutes while Marvel was gone. He didn't come back later anyway to tell us what it was like. I guess they just dismissed him back to his room.

After the other District One tribute when, Glimmer, they started whispering. Saying what they thought would happen, guessing who would get a twelve and who would get a low score. Somehow my name got mixed into there and I glared at the boy who had brought it up. He cringed a little, a small and wire-like boy from District Three. He couldn't have weight more than a hundred and twenty pounds. I felt a little guilty afterwards, but then swallowed it anyway. They were enemies. _We _were enemies.

But what did that make Peeta and I? We seemed friendly enough, but there was something always wedged between us that made us hate each other. Usually it was me.

I sat, eyeing the other Tributes. Cato and Clove were talking to each other. I wonder if he knew she liked him. I could see it in her eyes. They seemed to swirl when she looked at him. She smiled a little too brightly around him and sometimes she seemed to tune out of this world and into a little dreamy state of hers around him. But he was just as cold as ever around her. There was no love in his eyes, there was no affection. I felt sorry for her. Felt sorry that she'd fallen in love with a monster.

I glanced over at Peeta and saw him fiddling with a loose thread on his shirt. I frowned.

_It was three years ago, Brianna was getting ready for school and I was making breakfast out of the squirrel I'd just killed this morning. I smiled as she scribbled something on a wrinkled piece of paper with a piece of charcoal from the fireplace. I glanced at it and frowned. It was a crude drawing of a mockingjay with a circle around it and an arrow in its mouth. _

_ "Hey, Bri. What are you drawing?"_

_ "A mockingjay!" she said, smiling, revealing two missing teeth._

_ "Where'd you come up with the idea?" I asked, slightly nervous about her reply. I recognized the pendant._

_ "I don't know." she said, shrugging her bony shoulders. "I just came up with it."_

_ I nodded and continued to cook, watching as she paused to pull a loose thread out of her slowly fraying shirt…_

In the time that I had zoned out, two other Districts were gone and we were just that much closer to having to face the Gamemakers.

"Peeta," I whispered.

He glanced up and raised an eyebrow. For a moment, he looked like a boy I used to know. Someone that he disappeared because of the Games, but as quick as it had shown, it disappeared.

"Yeah?"

My mind suddenly went blank and I sighed, annoyed at myself.

"Just wanted to make sure you were okay." I said lamely, looking away.

From the corner of my eye I saw him stare at me for a second longer than he should have and then he sighed too.

"Just fine."

We sat in silence until we were the only ones left in the room. The other Tributes had all gone without a word to their District partner, except for maybe Cato who left with a meaningful look from Clove and the District Nine pair who had exchanged a loving glance before Barley walked away. Then it was only us when Rue walked out of the room.

"Are you nervous?" Peeta asked quietly.

I glanced around at all the empty abandoned chairs. "Why would I be?"

I gave a confident smirk and went back to staring at the chairs.

"You don't fool me."

"Who said I was trying to fool you?"

"You always put up an act."  
>"So do you." I pointed out, giving him a killing glare.<p>

"You are the most conflicted person I have ever met."

"I am not conflicted." I insisted, balling my hand into a fist.

"Really? Because every time I talk to you, there seems to be something else there. First you're happy, then sad, then angry, then nervous, then caring and now you're back to angry."

I looked away. "Just don't do horribly because we're only working well with the sponsors likely because we're together. Don't be the weak link."

And at that very moment someone came in and called Peeta's name. He walked out, but not before giving me a look. I didn't return it. I ignored it.

It was almost half an hour before they called me in. The same man walked in and glanced at his clipboard.

"Terra Ivory."

What happened in the next few minutes would either make me or kill me.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

I wondered what he had done. There was a bleach-like smell in the air. I glanced around and spotted the Gamemakers on a platform above me. They were all gathered around some kind of buffet, stuffing their faces and getting drunk. Typical. Finally, one with a mustache noticed me and waved a hand at me and gave me a slurred "go."

I glanced around the familiar training room and set up a bunch of dummies in the same formation I had had them in before during practice and started the same routine with my tarnished sword. In the end, I was drenched in sweat and surrounded by a bunch of bright blue chunks of dummy. I looked up to Gamemakers and saw they were all laughing at something one of them had said, barely paying attention to me. And that caused anger to swell in me. I growled in frustration. They barely even paid attention to me.

I grabbed the bow and arrows and set up another group of dummies, seven in all. I took one of the jars of red paint from the camoflauge station and headed back over to the dummies. With my index finger I carefully painted each letter onto the dummies and then took up the bow and arrows. Through a series of rolls and flips I managed to shoot each one in the center after I had gotten used to the bow. Each one ended up speared in the chest three times with an arrow. But I wasn't finished. I layed the bow and arrows down and grabbed the sword again and with one vicious scream, I sliced the heads off of all of the dummies in one clean swipe. That got their attention.

They all paused and glanced down at me. Surveying the damage I'd done to the room. I grabbed the head that I'd carefully written on from its spot on the ground and threw it into the air, right in front of the Gamemaker's buffet area. In one quick motion, I knelt and aimed with the bow and quickly shot the head, watching it soar into the buffet table with a satisfying dunk. They all gathered around it stunned and then looked at the words.

"Capital or District Twelve." One of them held it up for the others to see. District Twelve was clearly unharmed while the word Capital had a very nice arrow right through the dot of the "i."  
>"Thank you." I said, and took a little pleasure as they read the letters on the dummies. I-G-N-O-R-E-D.<p>

And then I walked out of the room, slamming the door behind me. I could still hear the distant clang from the sword dropping on the hard, cold, cold floor. Just like them.

I looked around the empty hallway. The man who had brought me here wasn't there waiting for me and I suddenly felt a wave of fear wash over me. What had I just done?

I ran. I ran faster, faster than I ever had. My vision started to blur from the tears forming along the edges. I slammed through the doors at the end of the hallway and was met with a long hallway going both ways. I ran to the left on impulse. Rushing down the hallway I felt myself stumbled and fall, a burn quickly forming on my knees. The dam that had held back the tears suddenly broke and a salty river started to flow down my face. I groaned and picked myself up and continued to run, running and running until I felt my knees give out and somehow, I collapsed in the lobby area of the Training Center. The cool marble on my burning knees felt great and I sighed, laying down on the ground for a few seconds before getting back up and sluggishly headed to the elevator. As the doors closed, I noticed a puddle of my tears pooling out on the dark blue tiles. Blood was blue too.

Thankfully, the whole ride up was uneventful. Nobody stopped the elevator to get and it was Tribute free, except for me.

When it stopped on our floor, I dropped out of the elevator and scooted against the wall, tracing a pattern in the granite, still breathing heavy from the run. It felt like hours before I opened my eyes and when I did, I saw the most amazing blue eyes that were swimming and swirling in front of my face with hair like gold flopping over to cover just the tops of them. The eyes looked like my puddle of tears. I sighed and blinked. And then I realized who it was. It was Peeta.

His eyes weren't swirling anymore, his hair didn't seem to glow with its own light and his face looked just like it had for the past few days. And then I realized what position I was in. I was leaning against the wall, both arms slumped against the wall, my legs crumpled beneath me in a corner of the foyer. With Peeta leaning over me.

"Get _away_ from me!" I said, jumping up, pushing him along with me into a standing position.

"Sorry, didn't mean to scare you." he said, regaining his balance.

"You didn't scare me. You irritated me." I said, straightening out non-existing wrinkles in my shirt.

"Sorry." he said. He sounded sincere.

I rolled my eyes. "So, how'd it go?"

I hoped he didn't notice the redness around my eyes from my stupid crying. I glanced away when I noticed him studying my face.

"Okay, I guess. They didn't really pay attention to me."

I nodded. "Same." I said lamely.

"Are you sure?"  
>"Yeah. Why?"<p>

"I heard some Peacekeepers in the hallway saying they couldn't find you anywhere. I came looking for you and found you here in a corner. You look terrible."

I laughed a dry laugh. "Cause every girl wants to hear that."

He smiled. "A better question would be to ask what happened while you were in there."

"I…" I sighed. "I got angry because they weren't paying attention to me. So I drew on some dummies and threw something at them."

He gaped at me. "What did you _do_?"

"Okay, so it wasn't just 'something.' It was a dummies head, with 'The Capital' on one side and 'District Twelve' on the other. I shop the 'I' in 'Capital' with an arrow. And I wrote 'ignored' on the dummies' torsos."

He stared at me.

I sighed and looked down. "I'm dead. They'll kill me the second I step into the area. Maybe they'll be an 'accident' where the mines suddenly activate when the Games start around me. Maybe they'll burn me to death. Or starve me of water and food. Or maybe they'll send Mutations after me. Either way, just stay away from me when we get in there."

I turned on my heel and started to walk away, but he grabbed my shoulder.

"Why would I do that?"

"It's not like they'll _care_ who they kill. They're the _Capital_."

"Who cares? We're supposed to stick together."

I looked into his eyes, searching for a lie in the dark blue flecks. I saw nothing but love and honesty. Man he was good.

"_Just stay away from me!_" I ran again. Why was I always running away?  
>"Terra!" he yelled at me, but I ignored him.<p>

"I said stay away!" I screamed back. I ran down the hallway, ran into my room and burst into tears, again. What was wrong with me?

I walked over to the bathroom and took another magically easy and perfect shower in this perfect room in this perfect world where money could get you anything you wanted. Including twenty-three dead children.

When I walked out, my knees were burning again and I noticed a few bruises on my back and I groaned, that would be great in the Arena. With a sad, pitiful sigh, I fell into the bed. I didn't really few like going to dinner, but there wasn't much more to do. I stayed in the one position for a very long time, and only moved when I heard Peeta's footsteps outside. I took that as a sign to get up and go to dinner.

I dressed in a simple long sleeved dirt green shirt and comfortable black shorts, I walked down the hallway in a pair of simple slip on brown shoes. I felt like the world was spinning. My head hurt, likely from the crying, and my face felt puffy and red. When I walked into the dining room, no one seemed to notice anything. I sighed and was glad they didn't comment or didn't even see me. They were all paying attention to Peeta. He was retelling his time in the private session. Apparently he'd done more than he'd told me.

"And then I threw the knives and hit the target each time. They didn't even look over at me, though." he said, waving around his arms to express himself. I smiled a little to myself.

Of course he could captivate all of them, just like that. Except me. He couldn't work his magic quite as well on me as he would have liked to. I always saw through his little act. Or maybe it wasn't an act. Maybe it wasn't what I thought. Was he really this charming, this kind? No, it wasn't possible. If you were raised in this world like I was, there wasn't even a chance that he could be like this naturally at this age. By this time, you realize there isn't really a point in trying hard to be likeable . You just had to try hard to stay alive, being popular didn't keep you alive. But in the Games, maybe it did.

"So, how did you do Terra?" Cinna said, looking at me expectantly.

I looked up, startled. All their stares pointed at me. They all seemed a bit sad to have to look away and stop listening to Peeta talk. Of course.

"I don't really know. Probably okay. I didn't do as well as Peeta of course."

"Really?" Haymitch said, leaning back in his chair to look at me. "What did you do?"

I swallowed. Great. "I don't think that's really important."

He laughed at me. I felt a bubble of anger starting to form in my throat.

"What'd you do, sweet heart?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. "That bad?"

I sighed and explained what had happened, staring at my plate the whole time. When I finally looked up, all their faces were shocked.

"You _what_?" Portia exclaimed.

"I just told you." I grumbled.

For a second no one spoke. Then Haymitch laughed like a hayenna.

"Well, I was right!" he said, banging his hand on the table, laughing uncontrollably. "You've got spunk!"  
>And then everybody seemed to start to laugh. I blinked. Shocked a bit and then cracked a smile too. It was kind of funny, the look on their faces. Looking around the table, I saw a hint of worry on all their faces, but at the moment they just laughed.<p>

"So what do you think they'll do to me?"  
>"Your time in the area won't be pretty, I'll tell you that. Make it hell probably." Haymitch said, waving his steak around on his fork.<p>

"Really? Well, it can't be that bad can it?" I joked. Everybody laughed again. They all understood where I was coming from. The area was your very own hell, no matter what you did. They tried to make it as miserable and terrible as possible. Forcing you to kill people. Forcing you into terrible situations. Forcing you to face your worst fears and then making them grow by thousands. Or causing new fears.

Dessert was a delicious ice cream that was purple and aqua colored. The purple part tasted like a sweet yet tangy mixture and the aqua part was minty. It was delicious. And then we all headed to the living room to look at the scores.

Effie clicked the television on and we all sat down on the annoyingly soft and comfortable couches. Caesar Flickerman appeared on the screen instead of Livida Hecklet, but Claudius Templesmith sat with his usual air of arrogance. I really hated that guy and his annoying dramatic and demanding voice. I wondered if he was married or if he had kids. I felt bad for them if he did, having to deal with having a father with such a voice.

"Caesar, ready to get this show on the road?" he asked, raising a perfectly plucked eyebrow at his friend and fellow host.

"Of course. Let's see what the Gamemakers thought of this talented bunch.

They started listing all the scores accompanied by a picture of the Tribute. All the Careers were in the eight to ten range. Cato got a ten. The only one. There were a handful of eights; like his District partner, Clove, and the female Tribute from District 5. Her name was Rae Socket. I wonder if she would pay attention to names tonight. Would she try to put a name to a face?

"Wow, Rue got a seven." Peeta, said, motioning to the screen. I looked up and saw her smiling face and the number seven. I wonder what she did to get such a high score. She wasn't career level good, but she could definitely hold her own in the Arena.

And then Peeta's face flashed across the screen and the number eight appeared on the screen. The room erupted in cheers and pats on the back. I smiled a little as they congratulated him. I watched him stand up and smile, shake Cinna hand, have his stylists laugh and practically cry over him. But then I glanced past at the screen behind him.

My face appeared. I held my breath. I would get a one. Three at the best. There wasn't any hope for me now. I was going to die in the Arena anyway, but I wanted to at least make an impression on the people of Panem. I would just be known as the girl who got the lowest score in the private sessions. Mostly because I was stupid, not because I was useless. They all knew that. They'd seen the footage. I was still holding my breath when I saw the score appear on the screen.

11.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

The room grew quiet and we all stared at the screen. I was still sitting on the too cushy couch, mouth closed in a thin line. Why would they do this to me? I was supposed to get a horrible score. I insulted them. I _attacked_ them. Why in the world would they reward me for all of that? They were the Capital; they didn't see anything as anything but black and white. There was no gray and I was almost sure that my little show today had been planted firmly in the black zone of their twisted perspectives.

"Well, guess they liked your spunk too." Haymitch said after a minute, a year, I wasn't sure.

And then the room was loud all over again, but they were now congratulating the both of us. I frowned and looked at them all, barely feeling their hugs or hand shakes. I saw Cinna's face out of all of them in the crowd and raised an eyebrow at him. He was drinking a lime green fizzing liquid with Flavius in the corner. He excused himself and grabbed another drink, this one red, as he passed a waiter. They seemed to all know what to do. Get out the drinks now that both of the Tributes haven't failed and aren't definitely going to die because they're sponsorless.

"Terra, what's wrong? Other than everything of course." Cinna asked when he handed me the red drink. It was in a tall thin glass. I took a tentative sip and instantly felt a sugary rush starting to build. I frowned and decided not to drink too much of it. I'd never get to sleep.

"Nothing is wrong. I'm just surprised, that's all. I thought they would hate me and give me a horrible score because of what I did. I didn't expect them to _like_ me."

"I please, of course they liked you. They don't want little sissies that go out there and play by the rules. The Hunger Games don't have any rules. All you have to do is survive and if you're ruthless and strong, they love it. They want a show."

I nodded. "You're not like the other Capitals. You're different."

"I'm not much different." he said, and then moved his eyes around the room. I knew what that meant. He wasn't going to say too much. All the rooms were bugged with Capital technology.

"Thank you." I told him, raising the glass. I didn't know why, but the sound of our glasses clinking together made me shudder.

I slept peacefully that night, even though I had drank most of that sugary concoction. It had given me a buzz for about an hour and then I was felt like I could sleep anywhere. I wonder what that stuff was, but I was too tired to think. I wandered to my room and was about to go in when I heard steps behind me.

"Congratulations Terra." Peeta said quietly. I turned around and found him standing casually against the wall, arms crossed.

"Thanks. You too." I turned and walked away and started to walk back to my room again.

"Do you ever think about it? How we'll die?" he asked. I sighed. I'd only taken six steps.

I turned reluctantly to look at him. I wasn't in the mood to talk to him.

"Of course. Doesn't everybody?"  
>"I meant in the Games. Do you ever think about how we'll die? If we die? If <em>you<em> die?"

I paused to think about how to answer. Of course I thought about it. I'd had nightmares the past few days about it. Thinking of all the horrible ways the Capital could end us, because no matter who was the one to drive a sword through my heart or shoot me with an arrow or beat me to death, it was the Capital that drove them to it. I doubted that anyone here would actually enjoy killing someone if the Capital hadn't placed them in this situation. Even Cato. If the Capital would just end the Games, then maybe he wouldn't have been trained to be a child assassin.

"Doesn't everyone here?"

"I guess." he said, and took a few steps closer to me till he was right in front of me. "Do you want to go to the garden?"  
>Part of me wanted to. I really did. But part of me, the logical part, whispered "Don't get too close. He'll be dead soon anyway."<p>

"Sure." My logical counterpart lost.

We walked in silence all the way to the garden and it wasn't until we were up there that one of us finally spoke.

"Do you think you'll make it out?" I asked Peeta, leaning over the edge and lodging a pebble at the field.

"Of the arena? Maybe. If everybody dies miraculously. I don't think I'll last long alone though. I'm not much of a survivor. What about you?"  
>"I don't think I'll make it out."<p>

"You have the best chance out of all of us."  
>"I don't believe that. You all say that. But it's one big lie to me. There's not much going for me other than my ability to hold a sword." I said, smiling coldly.<p>

"But you're a fighter. You are able to adapt. Everybody sees it. The other Tributes are practically shaking in their shoes watching you, but you just give them a cool stare and ignore them as if you've already won. It drives the Careers crazy and makes the Gamemakers pay attention to you."

I frowned. I hadn't noticed. I thought they were just staring because they were picking apart all of my fighting techniques. I never thought they were afraid. "I don't know what you're talking about."

He laughed and leaned away from the edge to look at me closer. "See that's what I'm talking about. You just ignore it and write it off as something else. You're something else."

His eyes seemed to swim and I took a deep breath to clear my head. Why was he doing this? Was it just another trick? He'd seen my score, had that set this off? Did he see my as a real threat now?

"Peeta," I said in a hushed voice. "Why are you doing this?"

"Doing what?" he asked, but as he said it, he was leaning in a little closer.

"This." I said, gesturing to the space between us. "We are not friends. Or allies. Maybe in the Arena, but right now, we're just Tributes from the same District." Even I flinched away from the venom in my voice.

"Do you really want to them do this to you? You're being just like the Capital wants you to be. Ruthless and cold and able to put on a show in the Arena. You always say that I'm just an act, but look at yourself. Look at the way you are. You think they manipulate us, but we let ourselves be manipulated." he retaliated, a dull fire burning in his blue eyes.

"You are just an act." I said almost automatically. Words kept coming out of my mouth even though I desperately wanted to stop speaking. "You are just a person here that they are playing just like the rest of us. And so am I. If you want to make friends, make friends with someone else. Because in the Arena, you're Peeta Mellark, just another enemy and target to everyone. Including me."

"I thought you would be different." he said, looking hurt. "I thought there was someone else here that wasn't just another puppet. If I'm going to die in that Arena on their ground then I won't die as a monster. I won't let them turn me into some kind of bloodlust ridden killer like they will turn everybody else into. I'm going to die as me."

"I understand." I said, turning away. "But that doesn't change anything."

I started to walk away, closer to the garden. I stared at the dark green color of all the leaves. It was beautiful, such a living color here in this horrible concrete prison.

"Did you ever think that maybe I'm just naturally a killer? Just naturally like this? They haven't changed me, Peeta. I have always been like this. Ever since-" I paused. I couldn't reveal the secret of the pain of the lost of Wren. "Ever since I started to take care of my family practically on my own."

Peeta was watching me with those beautiful cobalt eyes. They looked innocent and slightly hurt.

"You aren't. You aren't like Cato or the others. You're not a killer."

I laughed dryly. "I'm going to be. I'm going to be there in the Arena broadcasted across the Districts. 'Terra Ivory is a killer, a murder.' is going to be part of my description soon. I won't be a cousin to Bri anymore and I won't be a daughter to my parents. I will no longer be me even if I'm dead, Peeta. Get it through your head!" I shouted. I saw him visibly flinch. I felt odd, looking down at him from the garden. I was going to do this now, break anything we had right now. Because I hated this feeling of owing him something because of the kindness he was showing me.

"Peeta, think about it like this. I could be the one slicing your head off or stabbing you through the chest, or cutting your throat open, or shooting you in the neck, or maybe the heart, and I could be the one to knock you off your feet to kill you in a few days. I could be you're executioner and that idea doesn't bother me at all. It doesn't make me cry at night, it doesn't scare me. Because I know if I'm to make it home, I have to go through you and the rest of the Tributes without batting an eye. And if I kill you, I promise I will make it fast. Can you please just remember that? We're not friends."

He stared at me with a stone hard expression for a few moments before nodding.

"If that's the way you want it." he said with a finality about it. He walked away and opened the door. I felt a gust of cool air float towards me from the hallway. "But just remember two things. Just because we're not friends to you doesn't mean that we aren't to me. And that I could just as easily kill you. You'd probably put up more of a fight and you might win, but I think I could kill you without thinking about it too much either. But I'll make it quick."

And then he was gone. He slipped into the hall, leaving me in the suddenly cold air of the Capital. I sighed and stared a rose that was growing in a bush that was fairly bare except for a few unbloomed buds. I plucked the rose from the bush and inhaled. I was met with a sickeningly sweet odor that left my eyes watering and my throat burning. I kept the rose at a distance from me and went over to the edge of the roof. I watched as a few cars moved along the roads and a few people walked along the streets. I stared back at the door where Peeta had left and I sighed.

The world was so messed up now. I wished for the hundredth time that I was back at home in District Twelve where the world wasn't as messed up. Where I woke to Bri sleeping peacefully next to me. Where I could walk the streets and not feel stares on me. Where the grass grew naturally green and the few roses that survived didn't make me gag. I wanted to be in the place that I had grown up in. The place where I had a family, and a house, and a sister that would take me illegally into the wood to teach me how to fend for myself. But I could never have any of that. _Ever_ again.

I threw the rose over the edge and watched as it hit the force field, but instead of flying back up like I thought it would, it stayed on the field and sizzled and burned. The smell wafted up towards me and I coughed on the noxious fumes it was casting. I watched it slowly burn and burn until it was just ash flying away into the wind.

I felt a small pain in my hand and lifted it up to examine the cause of it. There was a small nick on my thumb that was slowly oozing out ruby drops of blood. The rose must have pricked me. I guess the saying is true. Don't be fooled by it's beauty, every rose has it's thorns.


End file.
